


Iar

by L_Wolland



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alpha Uzumaki Naruto, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, Graphic Description, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Uchiha Sasuke, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Politics, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Rape/Non-con Elements, Tags Are Hard, Uchiha Sasuke-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:53:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 28,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27327631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/L_Wolland/pseuds/L_Wolland
Summary: On the Farms you don't have much chance to get to know the world, but things are very simple.If you are born Alpha, luck will always be by your side.If you are born Beta, you will be able to live a peaceful life.But if you are born Omega, nothing belongs to you, not even your life.Unfortunately, I was born Omega.
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke & Umino Iruka, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto, Umino Iruka & Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 54
Kudos: 154





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Iar](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/708160) by L_Wolland. 



> Hi! This story is a translation of an Italian fanfiction. Permission was asked and given by the original authors.  
> It is a very atypical omegaverse and full of psychological and sexual violence. The original authors are keen to let people know that this is not a love story. But it is a story that deals with heavy and current topics, that is, descriptions and the abuse of power. The tags will be added as the story continues, but be aware that the themes are really delicate. If this triggers something in you, please give up reading. If this makes you feel bad, you have every right not to read!  
> But I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. I warn you that I am not a native speaker of English, so if anyone wanted to offer themselves as a beta I would just like it!

Eight hundred and forty-five years have passed since scientists declared that men are not all alike. The genetic makeup given to us at birth divides us into three categories: Alpha, Beta, Omega. There is no logic in natural assignment, it is not always a hereditary factor. Often it is just the case. But once upon a time, it wasn't like that. Once there was only one kind of men, they were equal. Then came the change and they haven't been anymore. Nobody knows why it started, what caused it. And in the beginning, no one knew how to deal with it.

Eight hundred and forty-five years after the discovery, society has changed. Shaped by it, everything has conformed to the division of the species in an attempt to control and security. New laws sanctioned by the Royal Family created the rigid division that still exists today.

Since **Alphas** are the strongest, they have control, power, the ability to make decisions for those who are weakest.

The **Betas** , for their docility, for their being common, still similar to the humans of the Old Times, can decide for their own life, but it is their job to serve the state and whoever commands it.

Finally, the **Omegas** , as rare as the Alphas, are diametrically opposed. They are weak, unable to live for themselves, born to serve an Alpha. Their smell, their heat, is the cause of the disturbances. They cannot be set free. Incapable of reason, slaves of instinct and tempters, they must be controlled by Alphas and raised in a place where they can be tamed.

On the Farms you don't have much chance to get to know the world, but things are very simple.

If you are born Alpha, luck will always be by your side.

If you are born Beta, you will be able to live a peaceful life.

But if you are born Omega, nothing belongs to you, not even your life.

Unfortunately, I was born Omega.

Once upon a time you had to wait until puberty to discover that gender nature had assigned you to. It was difficult to keep order: from Alpha parents, an Omega child could be born and vice versa. There was no logic, no possibility of safety for children. The numbers of rape and violence were very high, Omega children were abandoned in the first heat and then found dead from frost, hunger, rape. Or children raped by parents, siblings, relatives. Tragedy could never be avoided.

Many things have been tried, all in vain, until scientists have found a way to predict it. It was discovered that from birth that gene that will determine gender exists, the challenge was to find a way to identify it. To ensure well-being, research never stopped until it was perfected. Now it is possible to find out the future gender already from the third month of pregnancy, at the time of birth the baby will be directed to the place where it belongs.

Usually, Beta parents are allowed to keep Alpha children, and vice versa, up to a certain age. The Omega children, on the other hand, are taken to Educational Centers, commonly referred to as Farms. A group of Betas raise and educate them so they can prepare for their task: serving the Alphas.

There are hundreds of Farms across the state, but they never hold more than fifty Omega. They remain here from birth to ten years, then they are assigned - _bought_ , would be the correct term, despite the absence of monetary transition - by the nobles.

Each year there are awards - auctions - where influential Alphas can choose one or more Omegas for private use. Those who are not chosen are sent to the Ghetto. Each Province has at least three and is the place where adult Omega can grow safely and, in return, be useful to the state. The humblest and most ignoble jobs belong to them.

I don't know what fate is preferable, whether to serve a master or die in the coal mines. But I know I'm sixteen and still on the Farm. In the year of my tenth birthday, I did not participate in any auction, nor was I sent to a Ghetto. I stayed here, as if time had crystallized into my nine years, as if almost eight years have not passed since then.

This is bizarre for a state where everything is controlled. Where no exceptions are allowed. But I am. It must mean something.

Seven auctions have gone by without me participating. Nothing seems to change until the day before my seventeenth birthday. Without a warning signal, it happens.

«Sasuke,» the Director informs me, «you have been assigned. Tomorrow he will come to get you».


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Who are you?" I ask hard, pleased to have kept my voice steady despite my dry throat.  
> "Your Alpha," he replies, "Naruto Uzumaki."

It will be hot today, I'm sure.

In the library, the heat is oppressive despite the ajar windows. The air outside is thick and heavy as if you could touch it. I breathe it deeply, inhale the smell of freshly cut grass, ripe fruit and flowers, old wood, paper and ink. Being an Omega means having a developed sense of smell, able to perceive and distinguish any odor. Sometimes it's dizzying, like putting your head in a basket full of broken perfume bottles. During the heat it is worse, everything is amplified. For this reason, in the Farms they try to minimize odors, not to make them strong so as not to upset us.

Obviously it doesn't work if you're as sensitive as me to the slightest variation. But the smell of the library is reassuring, familiar, it slows my heartbeat.

Omega is forbidden to leave the Farm. Even the exits in the garden are strictly supervised and rationed. There is not much for us to do and there are few rooms that we can use. But the library has always been available. As far as I know, no one ever uses it, no child is interested in old books. Except me: they are the only window I have on the world, thanks to them I have learned more than I should. They are my only allies. The library is where I feel safe.

Then something changes.

A hot, creeping itch begins to rise up my arms. The smells have changed. One stronger than the others has crept between them, breaking their balance. It's so strong it upsets me, my stomach closes. I bury my face in the book and try to breathe only with my mouth. It doesn't work, the foreign smell takes over all the others, it seems to want to penetrate my brain. It intensifies and I realize that it is an essence of oranges, reminiscent of the end of summer, autumn, with an aftertaste of salt. I understand that it belongs to a man.

_An Alpha._

My heart is pounding. I've never met an Alpha. No Omega of the Farm can meet one, it is forbidden. Only Betas can get close to us, even if even their presence becomes compromised on heat days.

The smell of Alpha is so strong it suffocates me. I begin to sweat, the fermenting blood makes me blush and my leg muscles feel weak. My throat throbs and I feel my saliva rise. It is as if the heat was starting, but there are too many weeks to be so. My head is spinning and with difficulty I get up, back towards the wall to get away from that inviting scent. It's hot, too hot. I'm almost hoping that he won't come in, that he isn't here for me.

_Sasuke, you have been assigned. Tomorrow he will pick you up._

I force myself not to close my eyes when the handle drops and the door turns. The smell hits me with a new power, too much to manage. My knees feel soft, but I force myself not to fall and look straight into the eyes of the man who is reducing me to this state.

He is handsome, with blond hair and an attractive, round and harmonious face. A nice nose, soft lips folded into a smile. The eyes sparkle blue in the light, clear and large. He is tall, much taller than me, and well built, with broad shoulders and a shirt pulled over his pecs. Elegant clothes dress him. At first glance, he appears to be in his 20s.

I swallow and think about what he is seeing: a skinny, sweaty and red Omega, leaning against the wall with a frightened, confused look. I wonder what kind of smell I'm giving off that makes him give that suddenly cloudy look, open his nostrils and run his tongue over his lips. My God. I am not like that: I am more controlled, calm and impassive, even in the days before the heat I am able to maintain my dignity. But not now. I hate myself and consequently I hate him.

The Alpha closes the door behind him without saying anything and goes to sit in the armchair where I was reading just a second before. He picks up the book I dropped and looks at it with a frown.

«Do you like reading, Sasuke?»

My heart stumbles when he speaks, then resumes his frantic race. He has a strong, young and pleasant voice, just a little shrill.

I glare at him without answering. My attitude seems to amuse him. I have not yet detached myself from the wall and I have not stopped breathing from my mouth.

«They told you you were assigned, didn't they?»

Seven years late, I think, but I just nod. I study him and he lets himself be looked at without changing expression. He remains patient in his place. His skin is tanned, the same warm color of caramel. It doesn't make much sense: the skin of the noble Alphas is pale, because they don't work in the sun.

I risk sniffing the air. From the smell of a person you can understand a lot of them, especially their intentions. It's so intoxicating it warms my stomach. Do all Alphas smell like that? I can understand why they don't normally enter this place. Yet he is there, in the same chair I was using a little while ago, with the same book. Why did they let him in?

It is curiosity, stronger than confusion and fear, that detaches me from the wall, that pushes me towards him. I don't stop looking at him grimly.

"Who are you?" I ask hard, pleased to have kept my voice steady despite my dry throat.

"Your Alpha," he replies, "Naruto Uzumaki."

I have memorized all the names of the noble families of each Province. Uzumaki is not a noble's surname, this explains the unusual dark shade of his skin, but not the rest. Indeed, it confuses me even more. Only noble Alphas can participate in the Farm auctions to get Omega for private use. Only the nobles.

"My Alpha," I repeat, feeling the nausea rise. "What time?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Why have they assigned me now and not ten years like the others?"

My tone is brusque, angry. I hate the Farm. But in my heart I had hoped never to be assigned or sent to the Ghetto. I was hoping to stay here forever, in this limbo, that they forgot about me.

Apparently not. And I feel betrayed.

The Alpha Naruto Uzumaki smiles at my confusion, it makes me hate it even more.

"It was I who asked to be late for a while."

"Because?"

Return my gaze.

"You were too young," he replies quietly, the implication understandable.

I'm not going to thank him for that concern.

"Not now?" I challenge him.

Naruto looks down from my face and studies my body.

"No not now. You've grown up. "

He says it in a hoarse voice, with an audible note of desire that leads me to take a step back. I immediately regret showing my fear.

I don't like my body's reaction to his presence. It stuns me so much that if he wanted to do something to me I wouldn't have the strength to rebel. For the first time, I am grateful for the existence of the Farms and their strict rules, which for seventeen years have kept me away from this.

I see him sniff the air and his expression is disturbed. My smell must have revealed my emotions to him, which is scaring me. He gets up, I still step back. He's too tall, I reach just below his chin.

"What's up?" he asks kindly.

I don't trust him, but at the same time my instinct begs me to relax my muscles, to get closer, to sink my nose into my neck in search of the scent gland. I grit my teeth.

"Your smell is too strong," I hiss in accusation.

Sketch a smile.

"Sorry, I'm very excited," he admits, takes another step. "You're not used to it, are you?"

Now I'm flattened to the wall, not even holding your breath works anymore. My silence makes him take another step. He smiles at me mischievously and lowers his head.

It's too close, I can't keep eye contact. I petrify when a lock of hair touches me.

"Do you like my smell, Sasuke?" he whispers to me.

I react without realizing it. I raise my arms in front of me and push. I push against his chest with all the strength of my muscles. He backs away from surprise. I run away, slide off the wall and climb onto the window sill. I can't go out, a mosquito net prevents me, but I poke my face to smell the clean, sultry and summer air. I seek relief, but its smell continues to plague my nostrils. I would like to scream in frustration.

"Sasuke" calls me and I turn to look at him.

He is still where I pushed him, too surprised by my gesture to react.

"Stay away from me," I order.

I wonder if they're watching us, but it has to be. The Omegas in the Farms are monitored at all times by cameras. I wonder what the Director, the doctors, everyone is thinking. Surely that's a good Omega should not behave this way, I'm doing make them look bad.

Naruto Uzumaki's sigh distracts me from those thoughts, I return to focus on him as he sits in the same chair as before. He looks at me with determination.

"Sasuke, come here."

I feel my muscles quiver, have a twitch as if they wanted to move to carry out that order. I cling more firmly to the frame, as if to resist a force that sucks me in. I look at him furious.

"You're using the Voice!" I accuse him.

He contracts his gaze, troubled.

"If I had really used the Voice, now you would already be here on my lap," he replies with a hint of exasperation.

I don't trust him, but he's probably right. When an Alpha gives an order using the Voice, a kind of ancestral tone that belongs to their genus, no Omega can refuse the order. Something stronger than him crushes his conscience, that's all. Or at least that's what the books say.

I remain perched on the window and Naruto sighs again.

“You don't have to be afraid, it's normal. You are a young Omega, in the prime of your strength and fertility, you have spent seventeen years without ever meeting an Alpha and so many heats without someone to take care of your needs. "

I feel nauseous when I think about my needs during the heat. But I don't need someone to take care of it, I don't want it.

"You will get used to my smell," he continues, "and it will become familiar to you."

This is exactly what makes me sick. I don't want to get used to this smell, I don't want him to become familiar to me. I want him to get out of my sight, go where he came from and leave me there.

Naruto pats himself on the thigh.

"Come on, come here."

I close my eyes and bite the inside of my cheek. I feel exhausted.

"No," I tell myself. He doesn't like my refusal.

"Come here," he repeats more forcefully.

"Otherwise?" I challenge him.

He doesn't blink.

"Otherwise you will be sent to the Ghetto."

It should be a threat, but I shrug.

"I'm fine with it."

I've just decided that I prefer to be shipped to a place full of other Omegas, where except in rare cases Alphas can't enter. It is also good for me to die young in the mines, from a collapse, from poisonous gases, from an illness, from fatigue. Anyway this is not a world made for people like me.

He looks at me in amazement, then closes his eyes. A new smell creeps in among the others, but is out of place as a whole. I recognize it immediately: it is anger mixed with exasperation. I'm pulling too hard.

"But _I am_ not fine with it, Sasuke," he speaks. “I waited seventeen years for you, you won't end up in a Ghetto. You will come and live with me, at the cost of binding yourself. But I'd rather not have to force you. "

What do you mean he waited seventeen years to get me? The less I understand, the more reluctant I am to leave this place.

"I do not want to."

"It's not you who decide."

True, we Omega can never decide. Just suffer. This does not mean that I will let him do what he likes.

I remain motionless without saying anything, I just look at him. Naruto looks at the watch on his wrist.

"I can give you some time to get used to it, Sasuke, but by tonight you have to be out of here."

I'm still silent, he doesn't add anything else. He bends over to pick up the history book, leans softly in his chair and begins to read. Let me watch him from my safe corner without betraying grimaces or angry noises. I notice that on the back of the neck, at the nape of the neck, he has applied a very large patch. I wonder what has become of having to have a bandage in that particular spot.

According to the clock on the wall, an hour passes before I am able to relax my shoulders. I breathe freely and, although I feel a difference, I realize that he is right: my body is already getting used to it. Not that it's an improvement, I feel like I'm addicted to a dangerous drug, but at least I don't have my stomach in turmoil anymore. I can calm down, think more clearly. Naruto has to notice, he sneaks a glance at me but doesn't do anything. He pretends not to have noticed.

Now this tension seems unbearable to me. I wait for him to do something, but beyond turning the pages he doesn't mention any other movement. It's unnerving. I would like to ignore his presence, but I can't. Even if I got used to the smell it remains too bulky, it is still a stranger in something that I consider my territory. I laugh at the nonsense I just thought. Omegas have no properties, they _are_ properties.

Even if I won it, ending up in the Ghetto wouldn't be an improvement. I'd belong to the Alpha family who run the province. I could still be loaned to other Alphas and live in miserable conditions. There is not much news from the outside world, but the bad ones always find a way to be known. I have heard of terrible, omega taken from the ghettos and raped in orgies until death. Or of children who are sold at auctions to old drooling with sagging skin, who amputate their limbs so as not to let them escape.

Naruto might be one of them, but he waited until I wasn't a kid anymore to buy me. And he's not doing anything to me. Before, I pushed him, such behavior should be punished, but he didn't. He could force me to follow him by force, with the Voice. He's not doing it. He said it gives me some time to get used to it. But once it's over I'll go with him, whether I'm used to it or not. This thought rekindles my anger, but I try not to wallow in it.

He is right: I cannot choose.

Hesitant, I get off the windowsill. He doesn't do anything. I approach, clench and release my fists. Still nothing, he keeps reading - or maybe he's pretending. I breathe the air, but I close my eyes. The smell still gives me head, if I inhale so deeply I feel it spinning.

But I have to get used to it.

I breathe slowly and move towards him. He also ignores me when I get in front of him. I am not going to sit on his legs (as he proposed), nor on the ground beside him (as seen in the instructions in the Omega Education books). I sit in the front chair and watch him without speaking. He continues to pretend nothing has happened, as if he hasn't noticed me.

"How old are you?" I ask him.

I see him smile, he closes the book and crosses his legs as he lifts his face to me.

"Thirty-three," he replies as if we hadn't been silent for nearly two hours.

I raise an eyebrow, he looks much younger. But I shouldn't be surprised, the life expectancy between the various genders is very different and their appearance is affected. The Betas have a life cycle similar to the men of the Old Days, of about eighty years. Most Omegas die before the age of forty, but already at thirty they seem the oldest of the Betas. While Alphas manage to get over the hundred years old in good shape, they age really slowly giving an illusion of eternal youth. But it is not nature that determines this division, it is the economic situation.

The poor and dangerous living conditions to which Omega are subjected lead them to prematurely death and fatigue makes them very old. The average standard of living of the Betas did not remove them from their normal biological cycle. On the other hand, the Alphas can take advantage of the best medicine, they do not have to fear disease thanks to it and the luxurious and healthy life means that aging is slowed down; but even once they are eighty, they can rely on cosmetic surgery. According to my books, there are no old Alphas.

That must be why Naruto appears to be nearly ten years younger.

"So you decided at sixteen to buy ... to get an Omega assigned," I count in mind.

Naruto laughs, as if what I said is funny.

"Not an Omega," he corrects, "you."

I don't understand, no Alpha can choose who to buy before auctions, there are no reservations. But is it also true that everyone is sold at ten, is that another exception?

He senses my confusion and smiles reassuringly.

"Do you know who gave you your name?"

“The Headmistress,” I reply promptly, “chooses the names of the babies using an alphabetical order. She had arrived at the S. S-a. So Sasuke "

My precise answer seems to amuse him. He shakes his head.

"No, it was me."

At this point I guess he's making fun of me. He laughs too often.

"You are a gift," he explains. “Just before you were born you were given to me. It was decided that you would grow up in a Center to get a good education before coming to me. "

I refrain from making a face. Educational Centers are in name only. Everything I have learned is not thanks to them, but to the small library.

"You were already assigned to me, Sasuke, before you were born," he continues, "that's why you've never participated in an auction."

I don't know how to take this news. My entire existence is a gift to this man I don't know. I was born to be his. I knew I was in a cage, the Farm is nothing more than that, but I had never suspected of having such a chain around my neck.

Who can have the power to give such a gift? Only those who own the Center could do it, no other Alphas could be so influential.

Officially the Farms belong to the Royal Family, but in practice they are managed by the Alpha family who manage the Province. This Farm is under the Uchiha legislation. I look him straight in the eye.

"Are you a vassal of the Uchiha?"

He reacts in an unexpected way, his hands quiver and his gaze is lost, as if he couldn't focus on me. His face makes an involuntary grimace, like a tic. But it lasts just a second, immediately regains the composed and calm pose.

"In a sense."

I can't stop thinking, there is something wrong. Naruto is not a noble, I'm sure. It is likely to be an Alpha born of Beta parents. Usually when this happens some noble families take them as cadets, raising them as an adopted child. But it seems impossible to me that the lords of the Province have stooped to take the son of a Beta as a vassal.

"How are you?" he asks distracting me.

I shrug my shoulders.

"Better," I admit.

He smiles at me.

"As soon as you feel ready we can go."

Go away. I've always wanted to leave, but not like this. I just nod, defeated. There is no point in protesting, it will happen in any case and I do not want to upset him towards me.

Now it's her turn to study me.

"The doctors have kept me updated on you," he begins. "About your progress, your behavior, your health ..." He looks at me intently, as if looking for something in my face. "Is it true that you tried to kill yourself?"

There is no point in hiding it. I nod, remembering my failure. I had stolen a plastic bag from the canteen and stuck my head in it and closed it. I was hoping to die of asphyxiation, but the Betas found me before I could do any irreparable damage to my brain.

"Why?"

“Because I wasn't assigned or sent to the Ghetto. An Omega without Alpha has no reason to live ”I lie.

Naruto smiles at me, then leans towards me. I hold my breath and wonder what he's going to do, but he just whispers:

"Don't lie to me."

I open my eyes, my heart squirts in my throat. He's not looking at me reproachfully, nor is his tone threatening. His eyes are calm but serious.

"I notice when people lie," he tells me. “So don't do this, please. No lies, okay? "

Despite the calm tone, not at all hostile, I can't help but feel in awe. Eyes pin me to the chair, they make me feel guilty. I nod without breathing.

"So why did you do it?"

I pursue my lips and raise my eyes to his, I stare at him with pride.

«Because I don't accept this life. I don't want it, I've never asked for it. "

He nods.

"I see."

I clench my hands into fists and hold back from snapping at him. He was born Alpha, so he was able to have everything from life, he is part of the category of winners. He has no idea what it means to be Omega, to be born on a Farm to be a slave, to become dust.

We must crawl on the earth, the Alphas can admire the stars. He can't understand.

He sighs with regret.

"To prevent it from happening again in the future, I'll use the Voice to stop you."

My eyes burn and I can't hold back the look of hatred. It is taking away my only chance to escape, to escape all that. The thought of being able to die, of putting an end to my miserable condition, is the only thing that has always given me comfort. Now I will be denied that too.

"I'd rather you let me decide for my life and death," I reply belligerently.

He shakes his head firmly.

“I won't let you kill yourself. You are too precious to me. "

"You'll find another Omega."

"I don't want another Omega," he silences me with an irritated look. "I want you. I've been waiting for seventeen years. "

I bite the inside of my cheek so as not to scream. Because I am a gift. A gift belongs to someone, it is he who decides what to do with it. A gift is a precious object, but still an object. I am a gift. I am a gift. I am a gift.

Naruto raises a hand again to my face, still brushes my hair but this time I don't move. His face is very close.

"Is it better?"

He takes my silence for an affirmative answer.

"What do you say? Here we go?"

I would like to say no, but it makes no sense to postpone the inevitable. I close my eyes and nod.

It takes me a few minutes to pack my things, I have nothing but a few dresses and a pair of shoes. The children watch me get ready with huge eyes, some of them cry. I don't understand why they are sad, I've never been familiar with any of them.

When I get out of the shower I find that they have all disappeared from the room, hidden somewhere. On the other hand, on my bed there is a farewell note with their signatures, those who still cannot write have made a star. My stomach contracts, as if I have been punched. I will never go back to this place, I will never sleep on this bed again.

Without realizing it, I take the sheet, fold it and put it in the bag. I know the children are under their beds, I hear them whispering. Should I greet them? Say goodbye to them?

In uncertainty, I clear my throat and nod my head to the empty room. Then I go out. I expect to find some Betas for the corridors, but I don't come across anyone. The farm looks empty.

Naruto told me to wait for him at the gate, before joining me he has to finish the last paperwork for the change of ownership.

I'm a bit excited, actually. I have never gone as far as the gate, it is forbidden even to stop on the driveway. Now I am reaching it and I will go through it. I will leave the farm.

Sometimes Alphas take Omegas to parties or accompany them on walks, visits to other Alphas. It could be a way to see the world no longer just with books. This thought gives me courage.

Outside the gate there is a large car, black and elegant like a panther. I stop to look at her in amazement. Only the noblest nobles can afford a car, and even fewer people can own a working one. Gasoline is a very precious and rare commodity, extremely expensive. Some noble families keep their cars stationary in the courtyards as if they were statues to show off, cold and unusable, new and with intact tires. I have seen some photos, but I never thought I could get on one of them.

"Do you like?"

I'm so busy admiring it that I don't realize Naruto's arrival. In the open air, its aggressive scent is more attenuated, dispersed among the others, and by now I am used to it enough to be able to breathe without getting agitated. But now I can't stop thinking about how good it is.

"It's yours?" I point to the car.

He nods. "The advantages of being the favorite of the Lords of the Province."

I don't know why, but knowing that he is probably high up on the social ladder makes me uncomfortable.

Naruto opens the door for me and gives me a funny bow. I hesitate before entering, I turn towards the facade of the Farm. Its ocher bricks and windows, sloping roof and wooden porch… I will never see them again. My lips have an involuntary twitch. I look away and enter the car. Inside, the smell of Naruto is amplified, the leather seats if they are soaked. I feel dizzy, but I sit up without showing my disruption. Naruto sits next to me and taps on the glass in front. At his sign the car is immediately set in motion, I hear the engine start up. The car begins to make small maneuvers, back and forth, back and forth, until it exits the small clearing and enters the road. I would like to see outside, but the windows are darkened.

Naruto puts something on my legs, I look blankly at the package with the big red bow.

"Happy birthday," he smiles at me.

I do not react, I continue to look at the package as if it were a particularly large insect. He clears his throat.

"It's your birthday today, right?"

I nod, he smiles encouragingly.

“Usually on birthdays gifts are given to the birthday boy. It's for you. "

I know, I read it in books. But I've never celebrated a birthday, it's not something the Farm cares about doing. There is nothing for us Omega to celebrate. Our birth is just a misfortune.

With mechanical gestures I begin to untie the bow, then I discard the wrapping. In my hands I find a white box, I open it. Inside is a midnight blue shirt, with short sleeves. I run my fingers over the fabric and realize it's made of silk. I don't know how to react to this fact.

"Thanks," I say automatically.

I fold it up and put it back safely in the box. It certainly costs a lot more than my life.

Naruto looks happy, satisfied. He brought his hand to my leg, I feel it pressing against the fabric of my pants. I wonder what to do, what to expect. I went with him, I'm in his car. Even at the bureaucratic level I am now his Omega - the more I think about it the more I feel like throwing up. He could touch me, kiss me, ask to be touched and I have to.

"Calm down, Sasuke," he tells me.

"I am calm."

He laughs.

"We told no lies, remember?"

I would like to argue, but I realize that his posture has become more confident and his smell different. He looks at me seriously, as if he is about to say something important.

"Sasuke, I took you with me so I could make a bond."

I look at him disoriented. I know what a bond is, it's one of the few things the Farms have to teach us, and that's exactly what confuses me. The bond is an emotional and physical relationship, which inseparably links an Alpha and an Omega. A contract so engraved in the flesh that breaking it means suffering unbearable pain. For this reason it is very rare that it forms, according to the Beta teacher, few Alphas are so foolish as to want to bond with someone as voluptuous and prone to betrayal like an Omega. Yet that's what Naruto is asking me.

I swallow. It is something serious, very serious.

With difficulty I detach myself from the palate:

"Why?"

"The bond is something that only forms between Alpha and Omega," he explains without batting an eye. “Binds them for life and amplifies everything. I'm not satisfied with buying you, I really want you. "

I don't like the note of ownership in his tone.

"For the bond to form, you need the consensus of the Omega, I have to want it too," I point out. I don't want to bond with him, I don't want to be compromised by something like that.

Naruto smiles at me.

"That's why I'll wait for you to ask me."

I look up and open my mouth.

"Me?"

"Exact. When you want we will tighten the bond. Until then, I won't touch you. "

I can't believe my ears.

"What if I never ask you?"

He stifles a laugh, as if he really finds it unlikely.

"I'll wait as long as it takes," he assures me.

I feel a bubble of happiness swelling in my chest. Not only is it giving me a choice, but that means I'm safe. I have no intention of accepting such a thing, I am sure I will never ask him. I am safe. And he can't use me for his private uses.

"Do you promise me?" I ask anxious that he can take it back.

His smile has a softened tinge.

"I promise you".

Satisfied and happy, I relax on the seat and allow myself a smile of victory. I won't have to fear anything, Naruto won't do anything to me until I want it. That is never.

I feel his fingers brush my thigh and I gasp. I turn to look at him questioningly. His eyes are half closed, but I can see the dilated pupils.

“I know I just promised,” he whispers, “but can I kiss you? I've been trying to resist since before, I can't take it anymore. "

Instinctively I raise my face to his, I feel the hot breath breaking on my face.

"Can I say no?" I ask with little conviction.

The sorrow in the blue eyes makes me understand that I can. He'll back off as soon as I tell him no. I swallow. I look at his full, parted, inviting lips. The smell is killing me. I need to savor it at least once, or I'll go crazy. I close my eyes and nod.

His hands find my face, his fingers barely touch my forehead, the tips of my ears, the hollows of my cheeks. Wherever he touches me I am on fire.

"You smell very good, Sasuke ..." An imperceptible whisper. His breath on my ear and my neck, his mouth brushing my skin.

"You too." I feel my mouth open, but I don't realize I've answered.

And then we're kissing. Or at least, I think we're kissing. I've only seen it in educational films and read in books. But this is unlike anything I have read or seen or imagined. His lips are parted and by reflex I part them too. His are as soft as they seem, they move slowly, as if they want to savor everything, and I feel his tongue licking me, teasing mine. I remain motionless, unable to keep up with him, stunned by the kiss and the smell. It has changed again, so intense it gives me the feeling of drowning in it. The maritime essence has increased. It seems to me to kiss the ocean directly, to feel the salt on my tongue. It is the smell, the taste, the best I have ever smelled, licked.

The heat inside me is increasing, in light waves that swell and crash and make me feel like I'm floating. His fingers intertwine with my hair, wrap around my neck, brush my shoulders and without thinking or wanting to, my hands find his chest and move on the heat of his chest and the bones of his shoulder blades and the dry curve of his jaw . It's all strange and unknown and new. My heart is beating in my chest so hard it hurts. But it's a beautiful pain, it makes me want to have more, to feel it go faster. And suddenly everything is clear. This is what I want. This is the only thing I've ever wanted.

When he retracts I find that I am lying on the seats, with him on top of me. And my brain is stilled by the hum of my thoughts and questions. I am full of calm and happiness as fresh and light as snow.

Naruto looks at me, his lips still parted. It seems to be struggling to resist falling on me again.

"I promised ..." he whispers to convince himself. He looks at me, his pupils dilated, a silent question.

_May I continue?_

_Yes Yes Yes._ I can't think of anything except the cold I feel now that he doesn't kiss me anymore.

But a second before I can part my lips and say that fateful yes - _yes, please_ \- I regain awareness of myself. My blood is still boiling, but I can see it more clearly. I want it, but if I accept I will lose. I will lose everything. I don't want this. It's the pheromones that make me believe it. It is just a chemical illusion.

It is not real.

I look away and withdraw. I raise my torso to escape his weak grip. Naruto lets me go, goes back to his seat. He doesn't seem disappointed, just resigned.

I'm excited, he is too. the passenger compartment is full of our smells. Without being seen, I plug my nose.

It is not real. It’s the pheromones. It is not real. It’s the pheromones.

I fall asleep repeating this mantra.

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! If you have any tips for translation, please tell me so I will improve :D


	3. Chapter 3

A warm air wakes me up against my face. Slowly I open my eyes, the windows are open. I can see where we are, but it is the fragrance carried by the air that reveals it to me. I smell new smells, different from what I am used to. I close my eyes to focus better on the smell of earth and asphalt and plants and the sea. Yes, the air is saturated with that essence that I also felt on Naruto's mouth. It's wet, salty, it tickles my sense of smell in a whole new way. I have never been so close to the ocean.

"We're almost there," Naruto informs me.

I turn my head towards him and realize that I must have slept many hours. Outside, the sky is tinged with a solid orange. The breeze that enters the passenger compartment lifts the hair on his forehead, shakes them like the petals of a sunflower. He looks comfortable.

I don't answer and go back to look out the window. Obviously no one else is walking the paved road, we are alone.

Groups of black swallows fly against the background of the sky, but soon a few seagulls are added. We turn once and immediately I can see, squinting, a shimmering expanse on the horizon. Even if the reflection hurts my sight, I can't look away. It is the first time I see the sea.

The car leaves the main road to go down on a narrower dirt road. It jumps along the uneven track as if it were hiccups. Around us there are only expanses of low grass and heather. The tip of a roof emerges between the cliffs.

When I see the house we are almost at sea level. The closer we get, the more I realize that it is a very elegant villa. I wonder how many rooms it has as I try to count the windows, but I soon lose count. The sunset tinges it red, makes some golden decorations shine. The garden is bordered by a high gate. This opens to the passage of the car, which winds its way in an open space in front of the entrance. The engine is switched off.

I would not be so impatient, but it's stronger than me. I open the door and throw myself out, eager to look around me better. The villa is really beautiful, in baroque style. A marble staircase leads to the large entrance door, a row of massive columns runs along the entire facade.

I hear Naruto reach me.

"Home sweet home," he says with a sigh.

Home. Right: now this is my home. It is twice the size of the Farm.

Naruto touches my shoulder.

"Come on, I'll show you the best part."

I think he wants to let me in, instead he makes me go around the villa. I think then he wants to show me the view, he guides me along a narrow and short path that descends from the cliff. At the end of it we come out into a small bay.

And in front of me there is the undertow, the sea.

I hear the sand crunch under my shoes as I pass Naruto. Then, without knowing why, I take them off and remain barefoot. It is damp, the tiny pebbles stick to the sole of the foot. I abandon my shoes and head to the water's edge. The sea is calm, peaceful and even the sound of the rolling waves is peaceful. He seems to be in no hurry. In the shadow, the water is black, splashed with foam. But on the horizon it has the same color as the sky.

The waves touch my toes. Then I find myself immersed in shallow water up to my ankles. It's cold, but I hardly notice it. Compared to the beach, the bottom is sandy, with only a few larger colored pebbles.

I breathe deeply several times, until my head is spinning. It's like my chest has opened wide, what I feel is so strange that I feel like crying.

Is this the feeling of freedom?

I hear Naruto walking behind me until he reaches the surf.

"Would you like a swim?"

I turn to him to notice him taking off his white shirt. I don't look away, study his tanned and muscular chest. On his chest he has some blond hair. He throws his shirt on the floor carelessly and looks at me questioningly. I don't answer, I keep watching him as he also gets rid of his black pants and reveals his toned legs. He has a statuesque, trained body, but my curiosity is captured by something else. On his arms and legs he has scratches, thin strips of lighter skin, as if they were the memory of old deep cuts.

I know Alphas sometimes fight each other. It is part of their instinct. After all, it's natural for Alphas to mark territory and want supremacy. They have such pride that it takes very little to make them clash. But those scars aren't bites, they're too neat to be just scratches. I look away only when the boxers are also dropped.

"So, are you coming?" Naruto urges me.

He enters the water without any hesitation, leaving me the vision of his firm and well-shaped buttocks. It plunges up to the neck, just so as not to wet the patch at the base of the neck. I wonder if it's related to the cuts on the arms, but these seem to be really old. If he was injured at the same time, that wound would also heal and he wouldn't need the plaster.

He turns to look at me. He waves his arms around him, rippling the smooth surface like oil.

"She's beautiful," he assures me and I believe him.

It is so transparent that you can see the bottom, the dancing fish. Some curious came over to bite my feet. I almost have the instinct to sink into them with my hands and try to grab them.

I yield and go back up a few steps to be able to take off my clothes, even if I am tempted to throw myself into the water with them. Unlike the Alpha, who left his shirt and pants on the shoreline without care, I fold mine and lay them on a dry rock.

Compared to the area of the farm, the air here is more humid and the breeze is cooler. When I dive up to my knees, I get goosebumps and when the cold water touches my belly, I gasp. I continue slowly to get used to it, hold my breath and try not to contract my muscles too much. It is like being immersed in a large tub, even if the feeling is not the same. I stop when the water reaches my shoulders, Naruto is a few steps ahead.

He gestures with his hand to reach him, but I shake my head. I can't swim, I prefer to stay where I touch so as not to risk drowning.

I feel seaweed brush my ankles and the sand creak. I stare at the trembling, dark bottom with a strange desire to reach it. Immediately after, without realizing it, I bent my knees and I feel the surface closing over my head. I no longer perceive smells, if not the salty one of algae and waves, and the noises are muffled, difficult to understand. The water envelops my body, makes my hair dance around me, makes me feel as if I have no weight. It feels good, fresh and gentle. My lungs complain about the absence of air and the muscles of my legs have an involuntary twitch to push me up. But I do not support them and remain inert to float under there. Slowly I open my eyes, the salt burns me a bit. Around me there is a blue world, with the sunset light that pierces the surface and illuminates rocks and algae. I see in the distance the silhouette of Naruto, surrounded by fish.

It feels so good to be down here, without the intense smells and harsh noises, the world seems less horrible.

I think I hold my breath and stay down here to die. Naruto hasn't given me the order yet, I could do it now. But I realize that I don't want to: I just saw the sea, I immersed myself in it and I wish it could happen again.

I close my eyes and narrow my mouth. I let myself be carried upwards along with the bubbles around me, until I break the surface. The air burns my lungs as I open my mouth in search of oxygen. I move the black wisps from in front of my eyes with my fingers and notice Naruto in front of me. He has a relieved expression.

"You've been under a long time," he points out reproachfully.

"It was beautiful," I justify.

He nods, then raises a hand. I stiffen, but he just removes a seaweed stuck to my shoulder.

"Can you swim?" ask me.

I shake my head.

"I'll teach you then."

I would like to tell him no, that I don't care, but the truth is that I would love it, especially now. I wish I could reach the deepest water and float on the surface only with my strength. But if I learned on my own I would risk drowning.

Behind it the sea has swallowed the last slice of the sun. The sky has darkened, only on the horizon a slow fading red stripe persists. The air is clear, you can see the first stars and seagulls flying over the nests in the low cliff.

Naruto notices my goosebumps on my neck and beckons me to go up. I let it go forward first and then I follow him. I do not want him behind, he is still an Alpha that bought me for me. I don't know how much I can trust his promise.

On the beach, a man dressed in an elegant black suit appeared, waiting for us with bathrobes. Naruto joins him naked, shameless. He turns away from him and lets him put on one of the two white robes.

"Have a good trip?" the man inquires courteously.

"Yes, quiet and fast," Naruto guarantees, then his eyes settle questioning on me.

I stayed in the sea with the water covering my groin, the presence of the stranger makes me hesitant.

"Sasuke, come on."

I don't want to, but I'm freezing. Without the sun, the air is now much colder in contact with wet skin. Reluctantly I join him, embarrassed by my nakedness. I've been naked at the Farm many times for medical checks, but I've never been able to consider the Betas working there as people. It was like being watched by a machine. Now it's different.

He smiles at me cordially. It has a faint smell, so light that it goes unnoticed. It must be a Beta.

"Welcome, sir."

I look away, embarrassed by that formality. He wraps me in a bathrobe as he did with Naruto just before, it is soft and warm.

"He is Iruka," Naruto informs me as he ties a belt around his waist. "He is my majordom, he oversees the servants and takes care of me."

Iruka smiles at me again and nods his head.

"It's a pleasure to finally have you here with us."

I reciprocate with a tight smile, I cannot say that for me it is the same pleasure.

I notice that he has folded and arranged Naruto's clothes and before walking towards the villa he collects them together with mine.

I follow them uncomfortably in the growing darkness as they talk about dinner. Naruto is rich enough to afford servants, a huge mansion a few meters from the sea, a private beach and a car. Maybe I should be happy, in a sense all of this I can now consider mine too, but I hate it even more. Because he can only afford this because he is an Alpha, it is his only being Alpha that has earned him them. I don't find it right. He has no other merits.

Inside the villa Iruka makes us wear cloth slippers. The entrance hall is large, with four classical statues in each corner and an indoor fountain in the center. There are two stairs on either side of a large oak door. The carpet is made of marble, the frescoed ceiling represents the sky at dawn, with cherubs resting on the clouds; from it hangs a large crystal chandelier.

I wish I could wash and dress, but Naruto turns to me with a lively look.

"I'll show you the house," he offers me almost excited.

It's not like I have much of a choice, so I nod. We first cross the central threshold, which leads us into a corridor with a high ceiling and a floor covered with tapestries, on the sides of the wall there are paintings with famous signatures. We pass several rooms of which, despite the name, I do not understand the practical function: they all seem the same and luxurious in the same way. Then we arrive at the living room, larger than the entrance and with French windows overlooking the flower garden. Sofas, armchairs, sideboards and a glass table are the furniture. Immediately after it is the turn of the dining room, in the center of it a long reddish wooden table surrounded by many chairs. I wonder why it's so big, as I doubt the house is inhabited by so many people. Large windows make the environment bright, even if now that it is night it is illuminated by chandeliers. After the dining room there is another smaller, intimate living room, with a cupboard full of spirits, a pool table to the side and a piano.

Naruto caresses it adoringly.

"They taught you how to play it, didn't they?"

I nod. For some reason it is essential for us Omega to know how to play the piano, or another instrument.

Other rooms follow one another whose names I forget with indifference, until we continue upstairs and Naruto stops in front of a high and wide double-leaf door. He is visibly excited.

"You'll like this," he hums excitedly.

He opens the doors with emphasis and I immediately understand why.

It is a library.

The largest library I've ever seen, with a bookcase so high it reaches the ceiling. I take a hesitant step forward, as if I were entering a sacred place. I have never seen so many books in my life. I approach the shelves, scroll through the titles with my eyes and touch the covers with my fingers.

"How many ... how many are there?" I ask enchanted.

"I have no idea," he admits. "A few hundred sure."

In the room there are triclinium sofas, a desk and a chest with a computer. Naruto heads towards the latter.

“All the books are listed in here. Just look for what you need and the computer will tell you the shelf ”he explains.

I listen to it halfway through, too busy pulling one off the shelf. It is the same book I was reading before it came to get me, but in a much more expensive edition. I open it, Naruto comes up behind me and covers my hands with his. I feel her breath directly on the back of my neck.

"You didn't answer me at the Center today," he breathes, "so I'm asking you: do you like reading?"

I bite my tongue and nod. Naruto rests his chin on my shoulder.

"Me too. Books have been my only company for a long time, I'm happy to share this passion with you. "

Not me. And I hate to reflect myself in these words, as if I could have said them myself. He and I have nothing in common. I'm sure he's lying, that he's just saying it to charm me.

I move away from him.

"Keep your distance," I say.

He inclines his head, curious and amused.

"Why? Don't you want me near? "

"No."

He smiles. He doesn't take me seriously, it's obvious.

"You'll want it," he says, in fact, quietly.

I put the book back in its place without replying. There is no point in protesting, telling him he is wrong. My refusals must seem to him just the whims of a stubborn child.

"Can I wash myself now?" I ask flat.

I do not want to see other useless rooms, I have already decided that the only one I will attend will be this library. There is also a television, I've never seen one. They are less rare than machines, the richest Betas manage to buy them, but they weren't at the Farm. There are news on television, they tell what is happening in the country. They are a source of information.

Naruto nods and we leave the library, he takes me to another large room with a four-poster double bed. I look at the mattress, the blankets, the light red curtains. My stomach is upset.

"Is this the room where I will sleep?"

"Yes."

"Will I sleep with you?"

"Yes."

Frustration clogs my throat, I struggle to speak.

"I do not want to."

I see the first annoyed expression on Naruto's face.

"It doesn't matter, that's it."

It is so.

It is - decided - so.

Because others decide for me.

"Where is the toilet?"

Expressionless, Naruto points to a door.

"You will only ever use this in the room."

"I want to wash my own."

He smiles at me weakly, embittered.

"Obviously." He looks away. “Take all the time you need. You will find some clean clothes on the bed. Then join me in the private living room, I'll wait for you there. "

I look at him suspiciously.

"Aren't you going to wash?"

"I'll use the main bathroom," he assures me. "See you later."

I snort as he closes the door.

On the farm the bathrooms are shared and very old. The hot water only works for the first ten minutes, then it ends and the cold water comes out. The choice of the order to take a shower is random, so only one year I was able to be among the first and have hot water.

But the bathroom of the villa has nothing to do with that of the farm and the hot water never seems to run out. I raise the temperature to the point where the jet stains my skin red.

The bathroom reflects the baroque style of the entire house, while being avant-garde. I have a wide choice on different types of jets, soaps and sponges. There is also a round tub in pink marble, with the water coming out of a golden shell held by a female marine spirit and from the mouths of some dolphins. But I preferred to use the shower.

With a soft cloth I scrub the dirt and salt off my skin. I wash my ears, neck, shoulders, chest and arms. I soap my legs, attentive to the folds of the knee and my intimacy. I crouch down to rub my feet too. I use several different soaps, one for each specificity. I have never washed myself so thoroughly. At the Farm time is counted and we have only one bar of soap that we all use until it is worn out, then we have to wait for them to bring a new one. It seems to me to get years of dirt off my skin, it's wonderful.

I stay under that searing jet until the heat gets really too much and I turn it off. When I leave, the entire bathroom is immersed in a pale cloud of wet steam. I squeeze myself in the towel and dripping to move in front of the mirror. It's fogged up, I wipe a bit by swiping my hand across the surface until I see my face.

I'm beautiful.

Actually I'm not thinking that, I don't even know why I should see myself beautiful. But I've always been cataloged as beautiful.

Every year at the Farm there are medical checks, in addition to they also measure the beauty of us Omega. I don't know what their judgments are based on, but I've always been ranked high in the rankings. I don't know what they consider beautiful. Perhaps a face with oriental and androgynous features, with high cheekbones, thin lips, delicate nose and large eyes is considered beautiful. Maybe it's the combination of black hair and black eyes. Or smooth, healthy, lunar skin. My slim physique? I do not know.

I drop the towel on the floor and study carefully in the mirror. I'm so pale that I can blend in with the smooth tiles behind me. The compulsory physical activity at the Farm left me with some hints of defined muscle, tense under the skin. Nothing compared to the physique I've seen Naruto have. But that's nature: Alphas have more muscle mass than Omega.

This is the body Naruto bought, I think. I have a dizziness, a rejection of myself. This is the body that an Alpha bought to touch, lick, own. I would like to get rid of it, like snakes do, to have a new one that cannot belong to any Alpha. One that's mine alone.

I smile, I make fun of myself for this impossible hope. I'm Sasuke, I'm an Omega and now I'm Naruto's.

He must think he was lucky, he got the most beautiful Omega on the farm.

I stop being interested in my reflection and curious among the cabinets and drawers, I peek at the products they contain. I smell the creams and spread them all over my body, perfuming the skin with different essences. I don't do it out of vanity, but out of pure curiosity: I don't know what half of them are for, it's all new to me.

When I leave the bathroom I find clean clothes on the bed. In addition to a pair of white fabric trousers, there is also the shirt he gave me. I stare at the suit, underwear and shoes. There are no other dresses outside, I am not even allowed to choose how to dress.

Resigned, I wear everything, including the belt, even if it doesn't help since the pants fit me perfectly. I don't even look in the mirror and leave the room. It is difficult to find your way around the villa, I feel so small in these imposing and wide corridors. Eventually I find the stairs and manage to reach the private living room.

I'm not surprised to find Naruto already there. He is sitting in one of the low armchairs in a relaxed pose. In one hand he holds a book, in the other a glass with a strong bitter smell. Iruka is on the sidelines, at the wall, stiff position. He smiles at me when he sees me. Naruto places the glass on a round table and places the sign before closing the book.

He stares at me, he no longer has a bitter look.

"Goes better?"

I shrug my shoulders.

"I'm clean," I reply diplomatically

Naruto exchanges a nod with Iruka, who breaks away from the wall and disappears into the dining room. We don't follow him though. Naruto gets up and approaches me, studying me.

"I was right, blue is your color."

Despite the smile, however, he does not seem completely satisfied. I gasp when he takes the ends of my shirt and slips them, without asking, inside my pants. His hands touch my groin and buttocks while he arranges it. I can't react.

Naruto takes a step back.

“Here, much better. I don't know how they made you dress at the Center, but you have to wear the shirts like that. Inside the pants. "

I don't realize I'm nodding. I feel the skin burn where he lingered with his fingers. But he hasn't finished torturing me yet. His hands cling to my hair, caressing the tufts bent upwards on the nape of my neck.

"Do you dry them like this?" he asks me fondly.

"No, they're on their own."

I wait for him to remove his hands, but he continues to stroke my hair, to run them through his fingers, to massage my scalp. I have his neck in front of my face, his smell comes to me strong and direct. It doesn't shake me anymore, but feeling him so close just stuns me, it teases me. Instinct pushes me to bring my face closer to lick it.

I put my hand on his chest and push hard to push him away. I look at him grimly.

"You touch me too much to be someone who promised not to," I hiss.

Naruto looks me in the eye.

"It's not a competition, Sasuke."

I do not answer.

"Sasuke," he repeats, "you don't have to force yourself to resist out of pride."

I am furious. Talk as if he understands everything I think, as if it's just a matter of pride.

I look away contemptuously.

"I'm hungry."

Keep looking at me, wait for me to add more. When he realizes I won't, he turns around.

"Come."

Three quarters of the long table is unused. Only the head of the table and the next seat are set. Naruto and I are the only diners. Probably also the only ones to live in the villa, besides the servants.

The good and familiar smell that I feel coming from the dishes opens my stomach. There are other scents, but it is above all that of the tomato that tickles my sense of smell. When I sit down I realize that all the dishes are based on tomatoes cooked in different ways.

"In the reports it says that you basically only eat tomatoes," Naruto explains to me. "I wanted to surprise you."

I don't answer, a waiter is arranging various samples of the many dishes that have been prepared on my plate. I can't do anything, incredulous.

Tomatoes are not only my favorite food, they are the only thing I can ingest without forcing myself. I think I have a problem with food, I eat very little and I don't tolerate all foods. Not due to allergies or intolerances, I simply cannot eat certain foods. I don't like them and I don't eat them. They have no flavor, only if there are tomatoes I can eat.

"I don't like tomatoes very much," Naruto confesses. “Actually, I only tasted them once as a child and I didn't like them. But I guess we shouldn't stop at the first impression. "

I hold back a grimace. The last sentence seems to be an invitation addressed to me, more than to himself. To me and my reluctance, my distrust of him being Alpha. But I also understand another thing. He's eating something he doesn't like just for me. It's such a shrewd gesture that I feel guilty about my sour responses.

To distract myself I ask him a few questions.

"You live alone?"

“Before you came, yes. Now I live with you. "

I ignore this clarification.

"How long? Aren't you with your family? "

«I've lived here since I was sixteen,» - so since I was assigned to him known - «before I was with the Uchiha family. I've never met my parents. "

I look at him amazed.

"Really?"

"I don't even know who they are," he confirms.

"And your surname?"

He shrugs.

"I do not know."

"Didn't you look for it?"

"No."

"Why not?"

I'm bothering him with my tight questions.

"I do not care."

"Aren't you interested in finding out who your family is?"

"No," he confirms angrily. "The Uchiha raised me, that's enough."

I remain silent, but I resume immediately.

"Why did the Uchiha raise you?"

He swipes the knife across the plate, the high-pitched screech almost drowns out his gritted response.

"I do not know."

He knows, however, but he doesn't want to tell me. And it doesn't have to be a good reason to judge by the reaction either.

“You don't know who your family is, or why the Uchiha care about you. Is there something you know? " I mock him.

The noise of the falling cutlery makes me jump, but what immobilizes me is the change in the smell in the air.

Smell of angry Alpha.

Instinctively I get scared, the muscles stiffen and I look down. I feel the threat close to me and I feel I am not strong enough to counter it and for this I am afraid. It is my Omega nature crouching in front of the Alpha one. Naruto is not talking, but the pungent smell is enough to make me feel attacked.

"I know what interests me," he finally says, his tone calm and hard and feral. It makes me shiver.

I cannot answer, my tongue is stuck to the palate and my throat is dry and I can hardly breathe, his presence tightens my neck, I am suffocating. I cling to the tablecloth, squint, look for air. I have no strength, it's slipping out of my muscles. It's crushing my heart.

The silence is heavy, I don't hear any of the waiters lined up moving or breathing.

Naruto doesn't add anything else and slowly I feel the grip fade. I can breathe again, move, but not look up. I still have goosebumps.

"Sasuke ..."

Touch my palm. I gasp and pull my hand back under the table. Now I look at him. His blue eyes look at me great loss, concern. They are repentant.

“Sasuke,” he calls me again, “I'm sorry. I did not want to."

Try to touch me, but I flinch.

I am afraid and I cannot be ashamed of it. I am afraid and humiliated. I am afraid and I cannot react.

Naruto looks down and purses his lips. Then he raises his head and nods his chin to the waiters. One after the other, without changing expression, they parade towards the door and leave the room. The last is Iruka, he closes the door behind him without saying anything.

We are left alone. I am not reassured.

Naruto bends over to pick up the cutlery on the ground and places them on the table. I still can't breathe, I hold my breath in this silence often. I don't dare make a gesture, not even blink.

"My parents are dead."

It vibrates like the note of a violin in the silence of a theater. The surprise makes me breathe, there is no longer the smell of angry Alpha. Only tomatoes and sea.

I look at him, my mouth ajar. Naruto has his eyes lowered to his plate, a blank expression.

“They were sentenced to death by the Uchiha. I do not know why. I was just born when it happened and the Uchiha took me with them. I don't know why "he repeats.

I still feel a tightening in my throat, but it is no longer from fear. Now it's for the guilt.

“Uzumaki is my mother's surname. I don't know what they did to deserve death. I never wanted to find out. "

Now I understand the reluctance, the flat answers and the outburst of anger. Naruto grew up with the Uchiha, he must have considered them his adoptive family, he must have loved them as a family. Maybe he still loves them as a family. But they killed his parents. Now I also understand his expression every time I mentioned the Uchiha. It must be terrifying to find out that the adoptive family killed your biological parents.

I try to speak.

"Did you find out when you were sixteen?"

He looks at me surprised by his intuition.

"Almost, fifteen actually."

Eighteen years ago. Just before I was born. They are a remedial gift, probably given because the Uchiha felt guilty. To console Naruto. And maybe even this villa, the car, everything. Maybe he lives alone because he can't stand being with those who killed his parents.

"I'm sorry," I say, and I'm honest. I feel real sadness. It's the first spark of empathy I feel towards him and it hurts.

Naruto says nothing, lost in the desolation of his thoughts. Maybe remember. It is only collected when Iruka reenters the hall. Lay a couple of clean cutlery on the side of the plate. Naruto takes them and starts cutting a slice of tomato.

"I don't want to talk about it anymore," he says firmly.

I nod without adding anything else.

We eat the rest of the dinner without speaking, only the tinkling of glasses and forks on plates is heard. The waiters no longer come back, only Iruka remains to watch over us. At the end of the dinner, he hands Naruto a glass of water and three pills. He swallows them all together without saying anything. When he puts down the glass he breaks the silence.

"In the end I ate all the tomatoes and I liked them, unbelievable," he tries to joke with a barely audible laugh.

I look at the empty plates, then I look at him.

"You're right," I say, "you don't have to stop at the first impression."

He looks at me happy and I can't regret this little surrender.

The waiters come in to clear the table when we get up from the table, we move back to the private sitting room. With a full belly, my limbs feel slower, my mind more tired.

Naruto asks me to play something for him on the piano. I satisfy him. I feel the need to be forgiven for what happened during dinner.

I play the songs I learned at the Farm. I press the keys automatically while Naruto talks, talks a lot and tells me everything.

He tells me he loves music, that he tried to learn to play. But any instrument rebelled in his hands. He shows me his collection of vinyl records, plays them on an old vintage gramophone. They are mostly lyric records.

I listen to him halfway, waves of sleep that attack me as the hours pass. He lets me taste one of the liqueurs in the cupboard. He pours it for me in a small crystal glass. This is the first time I've tasted alcohol. It goes to my head, it burns my throat and makes my eyes water.

Stunned I listen to Naruto talking on the upholstered bench, his head dangling. I rest her on her shoulder, lulled by her perfume and music and her words, I doze a little.

The clock on the sideboard strikes midnight when Naruto picks me up.

"Let's go to sleep?" proposes to me.

I nod, eyes clouded and muscles stiff from the position. I try to get up, but he takes my face with his hands. I try to move away, I'm afraid he wants to kiss me again now that I'm half asleep, but he holds me tight. The blue of his eyes shines vividly, moved by darker, arcane shadows.

" **Sasuke** " calls me and his tone gains all my attention. I freeze and look at him, ready to listen to whatever he wants to tell me. The authority in his gaze wakes up and chains my mind.

" **Don't try to kill yourself ever again** ," he continues using the Voice. I feel the order imprint itself on my nerves, force my will. I nod without realizing it. I wait for him to let me go, but he keeps looking at me. He hasn't finished. The grip on my cheeks burns my skin.

" **I forbid you to masturbate.** "


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Sasuke, why did you go to the library last night?" he asks coldly. The tone makes my heart drop into my stomach.  
> I swallow.  
> "I don't want to sleep with you."  
> "You'll sleep with me every night instead."  
> "I do not want to."

I can't sleep at night. The exhaustion slipped from my body at the exact moment Naruto used the Voice.

 _I forbid you to masturbate_.

I have never considered masturbation essential. I rarely practice it, only in periods of heat it becomes essential. But I have never considered the idea of completely depriving myself of it. Naruto said right: I am an omega, I am young and in the heart of my fertility. I need to masturbate. To let off steam. It is a pure physiological need that I have to manage.

Now I can't do it anymore.

The presence of Naruto by my side doesn't help. I've never shared a bed with anyone. I feel the encumbrance of his relaxed body and his regular breathing and smell. He's making me crazy. I'm trying hard to ignore it, pressing my face to the pillow. But it, the blankets and the whole room are full of his smell. I feel so sensitive to his presence that I notice every variation in the breath, in the heartbeat.

I sit on the edge. Sweat beads my skin, but the heat comes mostly from my groin. I close my eyes and try to remember the last time I masturbated. Three days ago. It is difficult to find a moment of solitude at the Farm, even if it is about one's own privacy.

Three days.

It is obvious that my body is so eager to react to the smell of an Alpha. Equally obvious is why Naruto imposed this order on me. How long will it take before I give in? Before begging him to let me come? I understand why he has always been so sure of himself, this was his plan from the start.

Anger inflames me. I clench the covers in my fists and look at the sleeping body. I hate him. And I hate me. For believing it, for thinking even for a moment that he was different. For giving in this evening. I lowered my shield once and he stabbed me.

He lied to me. From the start, I had no choice. He just wants to wear me out, make me believe it's something I want too.

No.

_No._

It's not something I want. I can't let him win. I can't give up. I have to resist, remember what I want. I have to choose me. If I lose this challenge, I lose everything. I will be his slave, his sex toy.

I get up and take my pillow. I am willing to fight tooth and nail. I will do everything to not give up. I will show him that we Omega are not that easy to tame. I will not indulge his whims.

I look away and, without making a sound, leave the bedroom. In the darkness of the corridor I try to retrace the road without alarming anyone. I reach the library: it is empty. The starlight enters silver through the large windows. I look at the garden, the calm sea.

I will not sleep with him.

I put the pillow on a triclinium and lie down. Finally alone and with only the familiar smell of paper and ink I can sleep.

The next day, Naruto is furious. He doesn't talk at breakfast, he doesn't even look at me. Just the smell, the crease between the eyebrows to make me understand.

I was woken early by Iruka, who brought me a change. He then accompanied me to a different room than the dining room. A small room with an octagonal shape, with glass walls overlooking the garden full of flowers, a round table in the center of it. When I arrive he is already eating.

I ignore him as he ignores me. I look puzzled at all the fruit, sweets and croissants and drinks on the table. As if it were to feed a regiment, not two people. I just take a slice of toast and the tomato jam. I feel Iruka's gaze pass worried between me and Naruto. When the latter finishes eating, he hands him the same three pills from the night before. Naruto swallows them with a glass of orange soda. I'd like to know what they are.

The waiters take away the untouched dishes, cutlery and leftovers. They leave the room leaving only the three of us.

Now Naruto looks at me. I feel his blue eyes on my profile. I continue to stare at the windows in front of me without mentioning any expression. It is a beautiful day outside in late July.

"Sasuke."

I close my eyes so as not to flinch. I hate it when she says my name. I hate that he does this so often.

I do not answer.

"Sasuke, why did you go to the library last night?" he asks coldly. The tone makes my heart drop into my stomach.

I swallow.

"I don't want to sleep with you."

"You'll sleep with me every night instead."

"I do not want to."

I look at him and I hope that in my eyes he reads all my hate, my contempt. He doesn't blink.

"It does not matter. We will sleep together and never again - never again - dare to leave the bed at night. I want to wake up and find you by my side, understood? "

"No."

"Don't make me angry, Sasuke."

"I won't sleep with you."

"You do what I say!"

I imitate a cold laugh.

"Sure why not."

I try to get up, determined to end this discussion. But Naruto orders me:

"Stay seated."

I reside in my seat. I clench my hands into fists and grind my teeth.

"Don't use the Voice."

"I didn't use the Voice," he replies. "It is you who are made to obey me, even without the Voice."

I regret having breakfast, I feel nausea blocking my airways.

"Because I'm an Omega and you're an Alpha and I have to do whatever you want," I say sarcastically.

"Exactly," Naruto confirms without catching the irony.

"No, it doesn't work that way," I protest.

“Instead it works just like that. Start accepting it. "

"No."

He snorts angrily and for a moment I think he hits the table with his fist. Instead he briefly looks away, bites his lip as if to refrain from growling.

"Rebelling will make things difficult only for you."

"Better than being your Omega."

For a moment the amazement takes the place of the anger in his face.

"You are already my Omega," he points out, "you belong to me since ..."

"Since I was born" I complete for him, the nausea getting stronger. "As if I was allowed to choose."

"I'm letting you choose whether to have a bond with me or not," he snaps. "What else do you want?"

"Be free to choose my whole life!"

I don't realize I've screamed until silence answers me. A tense and fragile silence. Naruto looks at me petrified. He closes his eyes, takes a long, shaky breath and exhales deeply. He moves the chair and gets up, walks towards me. I get up too and step back. He doesn't change expression, he keeps coming towards me. I back up until I find my back against the wall. Iruka does nothing, stays in his place as if nothing is happening. Now Naruto is in front of me. He reaches out her arms to me. I close my eyes instinctively. Will he hit me? Will he bite me, slap me, hurt me?

He hugs me.

He pushes my torso into his arms, puts his hand on my head and wraps me. I hold my breath and stiffen. I do not understand. I didn't expect it.

"Nobody can choose their whole life," he murmurs.

His tone has changed, and not just that. Even the smell is faded, it is more gentle, reassuring. It no longer has that note of pungent aggression. It slows down my heartbeat.

“No man can do that. We are thrown into our bodies, into situations and we cannot control them. We have limited choices. I didn't have a choice in some things, you have no choice in others. I understand you."

My eyes widen. Is he really putting our lives on the same level? The life of an Alpha who has everything, the life of an Omega who can't have anything? What is it that Alphas can't choose? They are free, they have everything! What do he wants to understand about me ?!

I rebel. I shake in his grip and push him backwards. Naruto leaves me, but keeps eye contact. His expression is indecipherable, I don't understand what's behind the blue of his eyes.

"I told you last night: I live alone. I have endured loneliness for seventeen years," he murmurs. "You don't know how many times I've been tempted to pick you up and bring you here, to finally be able to be with someone. But you were just a child, I don't know how children are raised." He hints at an apologetic smile, it only lasts a second. "It doesn't matter if you don't want to create a romantic bond, if I have to wait years or forever. But I don't want to be alone. I want to be with you, I want your company. At least that."

I don't mention anything, I remain impassive. I don't understand, Naruto looks like a different person than before. Now he is more controlled, more like the Alpha I picked up from the Farm.

“You can do what you want, anything. In this house you are free. Having you here is already a lot for me. But there are some things I ask you to accept. Small compromises, okay? "

I look at him wary. His soft and understanding tone puts me on alert, there is something strange in his way of doing. It seems not very spontaneous.

"What compromises?"

"Sleeping in the same bed," he lists, "having meals together and chatting occasionally."

I bite my tongue, try not to ask him if the veto on my masturbation is also part of these compromises. But I don't want to let him suspect that he put me in trouble with that order. I want to make him believe that he has left me indifferent, that he will not make me give in.

“I'm not used to sleeping with others. I left last night because I couldn't sleep, ”I say and I'm not entirely lying.

Naruto purses his lips in a grimace. "I see. I'm sorry I got so angry. "

"So I can sleep alone?"

I'm not surprised to see him shake his head.

“There are no other rooms suitable for you. You will get used to it. And in case I snore, you're allowed to choke me with the pillow, "he jokes.

I do not laugh, the careful study. There is definitely something about him that escapes me, that I cannot understand. I don't understand Naruto Uzumaki. I don't understand his mood swings, his attitudes. What does he want from me.

"Can I make compromises too?"

He looks at me in amazement, but nods.

“Don't invade my space while we sleep, stay on your side. There will be a boundary " I decree." If I don't want to talk to you, you won't insist. If I'm not hungry, you won't insist. "

"Eating is important."

"I usually have a poor appetite," I snort.

"I know, they told me."

“If I'm not hungry, I don't eat. I don't want to be forced. "

"You won't have to," he assures me, "but you'll still be sitting at the table."

I shrug and nod. I'm fine with it.

Naruto keeps looking at me, waiting for me to say more. I should take advantage of it, but nothing comes to mind. What else could I request?

"Can I have my own room, where no one else can enter?"

He looks at me bewildered.

"Why?"

“Sometimes I need to be alone. Completely alone. "

He doesn't seem enthusiastic about my request, but he sighs and nods.

“You can use the Venus room. Besides you, only the servants will come in for cleaning. "

I struggle to hold back my satisfied smile. The order he imposed on me still crosses my mind, but I'm not so naive as to believe he will withdraw it.

"That's all?" Naruto picks me up.

I nod and he sighs. He looks relieved.

"Now that we're cleared up, I hope there's no more misunderstanding."

I look away and don't answer. I await his next move. He was too condescending, he will surely do something now. He will demand something from me. It will attack.

Instead, he just brings a black lock away from my forehead, behind my ear.

“So I'll wait for you for lunch. If you look for me, you will find me in the garden. "

I watch him stunned as he exits the octagonal room. He didn't do anything, he didn't try anything. I do not trust. It was far too quiet.

Is there something I'm missing.

"Today is a really nice day."

I raise my head and peer over the thread of the pages at the figure of Iruka. I had thought about going to the Venus room, but I don't remember which one it is. So I went to the library where I started reading. After a few chapters Iruka came in to catalog some books just bought.

It hasn't bothered me, since he entered this is the first time he has addressed me.

"Mm," I comment and go back to reading.

"It is not particularly muggy or humid," continues Iruka, "and a refreshing air comes from the sea."

This time I don't comment with any verse. But I feel the Beta's gaze on me.

“It's a shame to stay home. You could read in the garden. "

I look up at him. I realize that he is staring at me softly.

"Am I allowed out?"

"You can go wherever you want in this house," he confirms. "Even in the garden."

I look out of the windows at the profile of the sea.

"Even at the beach?"

"Of course."

My chest inflames. I can go wherever I want, I have no limits like at the Farm. I stand up, the book in my hands.

"Then I'll go," I inform.

Iruka continues to smile sweetly and nods.

"I'll send someone to call you for lunch."

The tide has gone out and the narrow bay is longer. I breathe the smell of dried seaweed in the sun and the sea wind. The heart seems to dance to the rhythm of slow waves.

I choose a rock that draws a shadow shape. I sit there, sheltered from the heat only in the morning. I keep the book closed, my gaze enraptured by the horizon. It's so white it blinds me, it just leaves me feeling. The sea calls me. It seduces me with its fragrance, with the promise of its freshness.

For the first time, I spontaneously put a book aside. I place it on the sand without looking at it and walk to the shore. Like the night before, I strip off my clothes until I am left with only my underwear. The water seems even colder and more regenerating. It opens to my passage like a hug. I slide into it finding the perfect space to fit into. There are no air pockets. Everything is wonderfully full.

Perhaps it is the unconscious memory of the mother's womb, of the amniotic fluid. Maybe it takes me back to the beginning of life, when I was protected by this world. Maybe that's why being immersed in the sea makes me want to cry. Everything is so peaceful and slow. Nothing disturbs this balance.

I realize that I am completely alone. The only other humans are Naruto and the servants in the mansion. Stop. Nothing that happens in the state touches this place. In the capital, the King may have been assassinated. I don't know. In the state, there may be an uprising. I don't know. The borders could be invaded at this time by the peoples of the mountains, of the desert. I don't know. Even more than in the farm, I am isolated from the world.

And I don't care.

When the sun reaches the roof of the sky, a servant joins me at the beach. It's one of the anonymous faces whose name I don't know.

Discreetly, he collects and folds my clothes and the book. He hands me a bathrobe and bamboo slippers. It doesn't worth my body a single glance. He doesn't take me directly to the dining room, first he walks me to the bedroom. He waits for me outside the room while I wash and get dressed.

Although I have taken all the time I wanted, I find Naruto waiting for me in the private sitting room like the night before. He wears loose trousers of light linen and a ruined kimono, of a fabric too poor for a noble. Taken as a whole, his attire is too neglected to dress an Alpha of his rank.

He smiles at me, not at all bothered by my delay. When we enter the food it is still warm and soft. We eat fish, seasoned with a generous dose of tomatoes to make the taste more pleasant. Actually it's the first time I've eaten fish, they didn't serve it at the Farm. It's a luxury item, unless you live on the coast. But I suspect Naruto could have gotten it fresh anyway. It's good, the soft, white meat tastes different from that of land animals. I realize I appreciate it a lot more. It is the sea that is feeding me, the same one that welcomed me a little while ago.

I feel in a good mood. So I gladly answer the questions Naruto asks me in an attempt to strike up a conversation. He asks me how he spent the morning. If the water were beautiful. About the book I'm reading. He remembers reading it and gives me some harmless previews. Without realizing it, I eat everything that is offered to me.

"The sea makes you hungry," Naruto says happily when he notices my plate being taken away empty.

I shrug. I didn't realize I was hungry.

Now that we're done eating, I'm afraid he'll do something. I stand at attention, ready to receive any signal. To predict Naruto's moves. Surely he will try to propose something to do together in order to provoke me, to make me say this fateful yes.

Instead, like in the morning, he gets up and smiles at me. He wishes me a good afternoon, reminds me that I can find him in the garden and goes out. This time without even touching me.

I sit at the table with my breath frozen in my lungs, my heart pounding.

I feel like I've just escaped from a great danger.

I take advantage of the solitude to try to get some sleep. All that food weighed down my body and slowed my thinking. I would also like to catch up on some of the sleep lost last night. But falling asleep in a room filled with the smell of Naruto turns out to be a difficult task. He accompanies me in the dream and when I wake up I find that I am excited. I understand how real the order is imposed on me as soon as I think of giving myself pleasure, but my hand doesn't move. It remains inert as if my nerves are receiving no impulse. And maybe it really is. Maybe it's just something I can think of without doing.

Frustrated, I find the only solution to immerse myself in the tub. I fill it with cold water that makes me wince and shiver, but it works. The blood leaves my groin to circulate and give heat to the whole body. I stay immersed as long as I can bear it, but that's enough and when I dry and get dressed I'm no longer excited. I only have a stomach ache from not having vent.

I realize that various options lie ahead of me. I can go back to the beach, I can go to the library to read, look for Venus's room… I can go wherever I want.

I think of the beautiful sunny day and the huge garden. I could explore it, find out how far this property really stretches. Discover every corner of my new territory.

And it's really vast. I realize this while walking, when I discover the tall hedges arranged against the wall, in a geometric way. Each of them closes something, like a sort of outdoor room: a lawn, a fountain, flower beds, sofas and a swing ... then the hedges disappear and I see a grove in front of me, a glass construction that looks like a greenhouse and a pond with a central fountain. This is even more elaborate than the other: in the center of it is the sculpture of a sea god, with a powerful and muscular figure, fighting a sea serpent with wide open jaws. From them comes the high jet of water of the fountain. Around them statues of five giant turtles arranged in a circle throw water from their open mouths. Water lilies float on the water slightly rippled by the rain from the fountain.

I approach and notice some ducks and swans swimming on the surface, pecking at the water in search of food. Under it swim bright red fish, whose reflections make it seem like looking through a kaleidoscope. As soon as I'm at the edge, the little ducks swim towards me. Maybe they hope I have some crumbs for them. I don't have any, I just look at them while they snap their beaks upwards.

"I have no bread," I apologize.

They seem not to settle down and wander around full of expectations, pecking their tail between them. I frown my brows.

"Stupid," I insult them. Chatting even more cheerful.

Only the swans seem to have understood. They look at me from afar with detachment and contempt. I don't like them, their feathers are too white. With the reflection of the water it hurts to look at them.

A shadow lingers on the rippled surface.

"Sasuke?"

I don't flinch. The smell warned me of his arrival before his shadow.

"What are you doing here?" Naruto asks me.

I am prodded by the suspicion that I have done something wrong. I turn to look at it, but the sun is right in front of my eyes. I squeeze my eyelids to protect my eyes.

"A tour," I groan.

Naruto smiles. He no longer wears the kimono, only baggy pants. His bust is uncovered, his defined muscles are clearly visible. He holds a sack full of what looks like compost.

"Do you want to come? I'll show you something. "

I shrug, get up and follow him. The ducks behind me protest for my leaving without leaving them a crumb.

He takes me to the glass building, which seen from the outside appears to have the shape of a classic bird cage. Instead, the closer I get, I realize that it is a greenhouse. Inside, the air is suffocating, hot and humid. I start sweating right away, my hair sticks to the back of my neck and the light clothes seem to want to suffocate me. I understand why Naruto is so poorly dressed.

I have never seen the plants that surround us, not even in book illustrations. Perhaps because they were always dealing with local cultures. These seem to come from the warmer and more humid southern lands.

I know almost nothing about the southernmost region, I only know that it is sparsely inhabited due to the difficult climate: the year is divided in half by an almost unbearable dry period and a continuous and incessant rain period. It is the greenest and most luxuriant region of the state, almost all of the people are concentrated in large towns.

I can't even describe the type of plants that surround us. Some are tall trees, others low bushes. But all are united by the brilliance and width of the leaves. The flowers, so many, all have bright, colorful colors. They are so gaudy that they seem painted with acrylics. The petals are as big as my hand. Everything looks bigger than I am used to seeing. But not only that: even the smells are stronger. So much so that it almost suffocates the smell of Naruto, that it turns pale. They are sweet, sugary, persuasive… they have something passionate and aggressive about them. They don't look like flowers that are easy to pick up, to break.

Naruto leads me through that miniature forest along a narrow paved path, until I reach what I imagine the center of the greenhouse. It is a round square decorated as a living room, with wicker sofas and armchairs. It would look like a porch, were it not for all the tropical plants surrounding the space. Here too there is a fountain, but it is much simpler than the ones I saw outside. It is a simple polished marble tub with a tap from which the clear water comes out. It looks cool and in this asphyxiating heat I am tempted to dip my head.

Naruto places the sacks inside an empty container, stretches his back and wipes the sweat away. There is something different about him, he almost seems more ... relaxed. I don't understand, but the smell of him, mixed with the strong fragrances of tropical flowers, sends me different signals than in other situations. I don't feel under attack, he's not calculating anything.

Then he brings two fingers to his mouth and blows. The shrill whistle seems to bounce off the glass, echoing throughout the greenhouse. I wonder why he did it.

The answer comes to me a few seconds later, accompanied by a whisk of wings. I look up and notice splashes of color moving between the leaves. The greenhouse now plays with melodious chirps like a small carillon.

I watch those birds with their curved beak, lively plumage and strong legs clinging to Naruto's shoulders, his arms. Some are so big that Naruto hunches under the weight. One of them also landed on his head.

They are parrots.

I'm too stunned to move. I've seen photographs, drawings, I never thought I'd find one in front of me. Let alone seven.

The plumage is so colorful that it looks unreal. It seems impossible to me that nature could create something so harmonious and artistic by pure chance. The one on his head looks almost like a mythological creature, a phoenix with reddish feathers that fade from green to blue on the tips of the wings and tail.

With a shrug of Naruto the parrots take off in a riot of colors and celebration. They rest calmly on the backs of the sofas. Now I feel their eyes on me.

Naruto beckons me to come closer.

"Do you like them?"

"This is the first time I've seen a parrot," I admit.

«They are beautiful and very intelligent animals. They are easy to tame, are curious about everything and are very fond of. If I ignore them for too long they become sad or offended, it depends a little on their character. And some… ”His voice cracks, less confident than before. “Some are monogamous, they stay with their mate for life. Like them." He points to two smaller budgies, with warm plumage and a completely red head. They are perched close together, their heads touching. «They are Inseparable. In the sense they really are: they remain linked to their partner for life, you cannot separate them. Not even death. When one of the two dies, the other also lets himself die of pain. "

He told it as a sweet story. I got goosebumps, I find it macabre. And the look of almost envy in the blue eyes scares me. I would never want such a thing.

I try clumsily to change the subject.

"Do you come here often?"

"I'm almost always here," he confirms. “I take care of the greenhouse and the parrots almost by myself. It's my pastime, it keeps me busy. "

I refrain from making a face. Seventeen years of solitude is a long time indeed. I am not surprised that his pastime is taking care of animals that suffer from loneliness. Like him. I avoid saying it out loud and look at Naruto. He made a white-feathered cockatoo perch on his hand. He looks at him and smiles tenderly, the parrot chirps proudly. It looks like a child telling some new discovery to a friend, or even a parent. Then Naruto kisses him on the beak. And he moves his hand in my direction. The cockatoo flies towards me and rests on my shoulder. It's not too heavy, but the surprise throws me off balance.

I look at him curious, uncomfortable. Hesitantly I raise a hand slightly curved into a fist. The parrot with a smoothie of wings lands there. Now it's in front of my face. His little black eyes shine with a conscious, intelligent light.

He kisses my lips with his beak.

I am dazed, surprised, and the cockatoo flies away chirping for the mischief. I touch my mouth with my hand. Naruto laughs, his light laugh makes me blush. It's an indirect kiss, he did it on purpose.

"Look, you have the same hair," he tells me.

I turn to look at the cockatoo, leaning against a protruding branch. A crest of yellow feathers has risen on the nape of the neck. I blush even more for that insinuation.

"Tch '" I comment annoyed.

The parrots have resumed flying around the greenhouse, making it even more colorful. There is something beautiful, almost touching, in this greenhouse. Naruto must have taken care of every single flower.

"Did you do it all by yourself?"

He turns around, looking happy with my interest.

"Almost. The servants help me sometimes, but I try to make do. I like colorful flowers. "

It seems like the candid admission of a child.

"You also like animals," I comment thinking of the ducks, rabbits, fish and squirrels in the garden.

"A lot," he confirms

I remain thoughtful looking at him. He likes animals, yet he has no dogs. I always thought that was the pet par excellence.

"But you have no dogs."

At my implicit question Naruto suddenly turns pale. He puts his hand around his neck and shakes his head.

"Don't you like them?"

"No," he replies faintly, as if he has suddenly lost his voice.

A parrot flies in front of him, alights on the ground and raises his neck. He looks at him and makes a shrill sound, as if to awaken him. Naruto rouses himself, regains color. He turned to me.

"I don't get along very well with dogs," he says. "You like them? Do you want one? "

I pursue my lips.

"No, they don't interest me."

Oh, I would really like to be able to understand this puzzle that seems to be Naruto. His mood swings are so strange. What changes is the light that animates his eyes. Who is Naruto? A controlled, understanding and calm Alpha? An Alpha at the mercy of their emotions, their instincts and overbearing? Or a calculating Alpha, which moves every step with precision? Or maybe it's this peaceful Alpha, watching birds fly fondly?

Who is really Naruto?

A week goes by. Nothing happens. And soon I get used to the new routine, to sharing bed and meals with another man. Naruto is up to his word, he doesn't try to do anything. It often happens that he looks for me to talk, ask me something. Even just to look at me. Other times he asks me to play for him. These are the most difficult moments, those in which I feel my self-control close to the limit. This is why I try to avoid contact as much as possible.

I often hole up in the room of Venus. It is small, with walls in a soothing pastel blue. A wall is dug to hold a round sofa inside, I always lie there reading. There is a stove in one corner that must keep warm on winter days.

Other days I can't resist and go to the beach, dive into the sea. I stay there until they send someone to find me.

I realize that everything is fine. That I could really learn to live like this forever.

At least until the night I wake up sweaty and excited as hell.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! Unfortunately I found myself with very little time to continue translating ... But now I have arranged my business enough to be able to go back to translating! I will try to post once a week, Friday-Saturday. Thanks for those who kept waiting.
> 
> A small summary of the previous episodes: Sasuke is spending his first days at the mansion with Naruto. Despite the order not to masturbate, things are going well and they seem to have found their balance. Until one night Sasuke wakes up absurdly excited. The last chapter had stopped there. We will see now what happened!

For a moment I can't think. My mind is crowded with the one great and unbearable desire for orgasm. I gasp, I can hardly breathe. My body tingles as if it is losing sensation.

I want to come. I want to come.

I cling with difficulty to the last remnants of lucidity. I sit up, the sheet touches my sensitive body. It makes me shiver, gasp. My body is on fire, I've never been so sweaty in my life. And I have a terrible stomach ache.

Desire makes me cry, but I try to remain silent. I can't wake Naruto. If Naruto wakes up and sees me in this state, it will be the end for me. I won't be able to control myself.

I curl up in myself, the panic mounts higher and higher. I do not know what to do. I want to come. I'm so excited that every stab makes me look like I'm about to die. I feel my buttocks wet and lubricated and ready to welcome anything that can make me feel pleasure.

They look like the symptoms of the heat but it can't be because it's too early, it should come in the second half of September. Now it's too early, it doesn't make sense. It can't be the heat, but then what? What? Why does my body react like this? Why am I subconsciously praying that Naruto will wake up just to make me cum? Why do I have to be like this?

I cover my mouth with my hand. I don't want my panting to wake him up. I get out of bed, my legs are shaking soft. I feel the lubricant run down my thighs. It's disgusting, my body is disgusting.

I try to resist, go to the bathroom and lock myself inside. I look at myself in the mirror. My face is on fire, swollen lips, shiny eyes with tears stuck in my lashes. I must give off a very sweet, irresistible smell in the hope that some Alpha will find me and fuck me.

Thank goodness Naruto has such a heavy sleep.

I look at the tub. If I'm in heat it won't work, nothing will work until the week passes or I'll get fucked until I pass out.

I turn the knobs of the cold water praying that it is not the heat. May this work as it did on other days. I don't know what else to do otherwise. It can't be the heat. It must pass. I have to get over it. I slip into the tub even before the water fills it all up. It's frozen, it makes me tremble. It's like a blade against my too hot skin. But I resist, I let the cold water reach my throat before stopping the jet. I am trembling very strongly, the spasms ripple the water. It is so cold that I can hardly breathe, it weighs down my lungs.

I resist.

I resist and pray that's enough.

Because I don't know what else to do.

_It is dark around me. A darkness that spreads and devours borders. I am curled up on the ground, on the damp soil. Cold. I try to get up. I am completely naked, the dark earth sticks to my white skin._

_It's cold, I'm shivering._

_I try to trudge a few steps in the dark. I do not see anything. I don't understand where I am and I can't remember anything._

_"Who are you?"_

_I gasp. A clear, feminine voice echoed in the dark. I turn, turn and search. I don't find anyone. Until a small light, a yellow flame, tears the darkness. In front of me is the figure of a woman. She looks young, smooth skin, short hair and green eyes. She wears white furs and holds a candle in her hands. She looks at me, she has eyes as ancient as emeralds._

_"How did you get in?" she asks me, orders._

_I don't know, I don't even know where I am. I can't answer._

_"How did you get in?" she repeats more decisively._

_She tries to grab my arm. Her fingers do not touch me, as if I were made of steam. She widens her eyes._

_"You are not here."_

_I'm shaking from head to toe. I feel freezing, head heavy, breathing slow. I lost sensation in my feet. I feel like I'm going to pass out. I'm dying._

_"Where are you?" the woman asks me. "Where are you?" she repeats in front of my silence._

_But my conscience is fading._

I am wrapped in warmth, in softness. Little by little, I feel the sensitivity of my body. I feel the warm and soft cloth that tightens and wraps me. I open my eyes and see white, there is too much light. My own breath fills my ears. Then a salty, pungent and seductive scent guides and unravels the tangle of my thoughts. I remember the dream, I remember the night.

With relief, I realize that I'm no longer aroused. My body is still shivering, but I no longer feel that languor, that destructive and toxic desire. They are mere shivers of weakness. The tub worked, I'm not in heat.

But the relief lasts just a second. The time to realize that if it wasn't heat, it was something else.

It was drugs.

Only an aphrodisiac could have recreated such a situation. But when did I hire one? When was it?

Just as I formulate these thoughts, I feel arms encircle my body from above the blanket.

"Sasuke? You're awake?"

I understand that it is Naruto who is holding me. I fidget and try to push him away, but my movements are blocked by the blanket. Naruto understands the antiphony and lets go of me. I feel him move and his face enters my field of vision. He looks worried, his face drawn.

I look at him without saying anything. I don't even know if I have the voice to speak. It's like being still immersed in the cold tub, everything is so slow.

Naruto reaches out and puts it on my forehead. He brushes away my raven tufts, he strokes my temple with his thumb. Even his hand feels cold to me.

"You have a fever," he informs me. "But it seems to have dropped from this morning."

I blink, try to look around. What time is it?

Naruto lingers a few more seconds with his hand, then withdraws it. He looks at me in silence, he looks for something in me. Then, all of a sudden, his face twists into a grotesque grimace. His blue eyes flash with anger and confusion.

"What the fuck were you doing in the frozen tub?" he hisses furiously.

 _It was you_ , I think. I am convinced, he must have done it at a time when I was distracted. He drugged me.

"I was hot," he replied without tone.

I can't let him know that I know, I can't even let him know it worked. He must remain in doubt. It must wear out, wear out in it.

"Hot," she repeats, her nostrils dilated. "You passed out in the tub!"

"I must have fallen asleep."

"Asleep ..." The deformed expression is accentuated. His eyes flash dangerously. "I thought you were dead!" he screams in a shade of despair, terror. He's been holding on to the sheets with his hands so hard that I can see his knuckles turn white.

"I wished."

He hits me.

The slap crashes on my cheek with such violence that it makes me gasp. I feel my skin burning with pain. The blow broke my lip. I feel the ferrous taste in my mouth. I suck the blood from the small wound and look up at Naruto. I feel his anger, I feel it in the shocked gaze and stiff muscles. He is as surprised as I am at the gesture made.

He hit me. But he didn't want to.

I look at him mockingly. Naruto is not as controlled as he wants me to believe.

He is not the person who wants me to believe.

He tries to regain composure, to control his expression, the shaking of his hand. He closes his fist, looks away from me. But the smell of him, so transparent and strong, still reveals to me how much he is struggling to contain his anger and all.

"Don't ever say such a thing again," he orders me hard, jaw set.

I do not answer. My cheek hurts. I probably have the red mark on his fingers left.

He exhales and inhales. He tries to regain control. I should be scared: Naruto is violent.

But I don’t.

"I'll get you to eat," he says after endless minutes of silence. His voice is the same again.

I stiffen. The food. Food is the best place to hide an aphrodisiac. It is easy to administer without anyone noticing.

My dinner was on drugs.

Who gives me the certainty that this meal is not too? Who wants to try again now, who thinks I am weakened by fever?

I can not eat. I don't have to eat.

I find my voice just seconds before Naruto leaves the room.

"No."

He stops, turns around.

"How?"

"I'm not hungry," I say more clearly.

He looks at me upset.

"You have a fever," he protests. "You are weakened, you need to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"It will do you good," he insists and this pressure from him convinces me even more that I don't have to eat anything.

"I'll vomit everything up," stubborn threat. "I'm not hungry."

"At least try ..."

I harden my gaze. "You promised me you would never insist," I remind him.

Naruto opens his eyes wide, bewildered. He can't reply and closes his mouth. He seems to want to resist, his muscles still contracted. He seems to be about to yell at me, to get angry again.

But this time he relaxes his stiff grip. He inhales resigned.

"Okay," he gives up.

I think he goes out anyway, but he closes the door again. He goes back to the bed, lies down beside me.

"Are you cold?" he asks me. "Do you want another blanket? Or if you want, I'll turn on the heating. "

"No."

His blue eyes continue to scrutinize me intently. He seems to want to speak again, I anticipate it.

"I want to sleep. That's it. "

He closes his mouth suddenly, sorry. I think he wants to be forgiven for hitting me. That his concern is a way to apologize.

I will never forgive him.

"Whatever you want, tell me," he says finally. "I'll get it for you."

I hint at a laugh, I don't even listen to him. I am too tired, having stood up to him, especially resisting the attempts to convince an Alpha, has exhausted me.

"I want to get out of here, that's what I want," I say as I slip into sleep.

I'm already in unconsciousness, so I don't understand if Naruto's answer is real or the result of my dreams.

"It's the only thing I can't get, I'm sorry."

The fever decreases with rest, but shows no signs of disappearing. Maybe because I keep refusing to eat even in the following days. Naruto is visibly worried. He tries to convince me in every way to eat something, even begging me. But he never forced me. He has always respected my denial. Even if he makes him suffer. He doesn't have to like seeing me in this state. Obviously, when I'm sick I'm not as attractive as he would like.

The absence of food makes me so weak that I struggle to walk. Even just reaching the bathroom from the bed drains my energy. If I continue like this I could die.

It is not an idea that I regret.

But I know Naruto disagrees. As soon as he realizes it, he will no longer scruple about keeping his promise or not. And he'll make me eat. And along with the food he will also swallow an aphrodisiac.

I don't want to take that risk. Not yet, that hellish night was enough for me.

Naruto starts carrying the soup plates into the room. He tries to entice me to eat. The perfume is so irresistible that more than once I find myself on the verge of giving in. But I resist.

I keep refusing food. To hide how hungry I am. I still don't eat.

Until Naruto explodes.

Comes warlike into the room with a tray. On it there are all the portions for a full meal. It goes with a smell so delicious that my stomach gurgling. I hide under the covers, hoping he understands the antiphony.

If he understands it, he ignores it.

He takes a piece of the blanket and, despite my meager resistance, discovers me.

"I brought you some food."

I look at him with anger.

"I'm not hungry."

He doesn't blink and sits on the mattress, the tray balanced on his knees.

"It does not matter. Today you will eat. "

"You promised…"

"I promised not to insist if you didn't want to eat sometime," he interrupts me, his blue eyes twitching as if they were a miniature storm. "Not to watch you try to kill you."

"I can't try to kill myself," I correct him. "You forbade me."

"But apparently it didn't work!" he yells. "Maybe I was too indulgent, maybe the trust I gave you influenced the Voice."

"I'm not trying to kill myself," _maybe_.

Naruto doesn't believe me, it's obvious.

"So why do you refuse to eat?" Why are you letting yourself starve? "

 _You know why_.

I do not answer. I turn my head not to look at him. I will be silent until he leaves, as I always have. But this time Naruto doesn't seem to want to cooperate.

He takes me by the chin and forces me to look at him.

"Why, Sasuke?" he repeats.

And maybe it's the tiredness, maybe it's the lack of energy that prevents me from thinking clearly. Perhaps it is the exasperation brought to the limit of not even being able to trust what I eat. Or maybe it's anger at his attempts to be innocent, to show concern for me, when my worst enemy is him.

Maybe I'm just tired of having to resist as if nothing touches me.

"Because you put drugs in it, you bastard."

I am seething with so much anger that I am almost in disbelief that I have spoken in such a calm voice. Naruto opens his eyes wide, turns pale, and his shocked expression makes me realize I'm right. And that he didn't expect to be found out.

"I do not…"

"Shut up" I growl. I try to get up with my torso, leveraging my elbows. “You drugged me with an exciting. You put it in my dinner. "

He can't reply, he tries, I see him trying to regain control, but I interrupt him first.

"I won't accept anything from you anymore."

As I say it, without realizing it, I push the tray off the bed. The soup spills onto the floor, the pottery shatters, the forks clatter. That noise seems to bring it back within itself.

“What nonsense. Why would I have done it? " he says quietly, but the sweat on his neck unmasks his nervousness.

"Because you want to fuck me," I hiss.

He remains silent, does not answer immediately. He looks me in the eye, straight.

"I think this is obvious," he says finally, calm and slow. "But I want to have your permission."

"Bullshit!"

I feel myself seething with anger, so much that I could explode. All the weariness seems to have left me, turned into blind fury.

"It's not bullshit," he replies.

“You want to force me to give you permission. You drugged me to give in against my will. "

"I didn't drug you!" he bursts out, but he quickly pulls himself together. "You have no proof."

"I know the symptoms of an aphrodisiac, I'm not stupid," I beak.

"Just because you suspect that I ..."

"He's not a suspect!" I interrupt him, clench my fists. "And that's not the only thing you've done. Or do you also deny that you have forbidden me to masturbate? "

He didn't expect me to say that. He looks at me annoyed.

"What does it has to do with it?"

This attitude of his gnaws at my stomach, makes me more and more angry. As if she wanted at all costs to prove innocent.

"You did it to exhaust me, to force me, that's what it's about. Otherwise why would you have done it? "

He narrows his eyes resentfully.

"You said you didn't want to accept the bond with me, it means you don't need to take care of certain needs."

"What kind ..."

"You shouldn't masturbate when there is an Alpha willing to deal with it," he interrupts me. "If you don't want to have sex with me, it's not fair for you to please yourself."

His reasoning is so absurd that for a moment I can't reply to anything. He practically admitted that I'm right.

"So you shouldn't masturbate either."

"What does it matter, I'm an Alpha."

I don't know what's keeping me from hitting him. But the thing that annoys me most is the total naturalness with which he says it. As if it were a matter of course.

"So you don't really want to force me."

The blue gaze lights up with hope.

"No, exactly."

"Then take this useless order from me, let me masturbate."

The gaze returns to shadow.

"No."

It's not like I expected him to actually do that, but I still feel a pain in my stomach. Because it confirms that everything, including his being nice to me, is just a staging to make me give in. That my fate has already been decided, even if he wanted me to believe otherwise.

And I realize that I had clung a little to the hope that he was sincere. I was wrong. In this world, an Omega cannot trust anyone.

I am tired, tired of being continually humiliated. Tired of being worthless. Not even selfless affection.

"We told no lies," I remind him. "But apparently even that only applies to me."

"You are my Omega, I cannot tolerate ..."

"No," I growl, interrupting him. “I'm not your Omega. _I'm not yours_. I'm nothing to you. And I never will be. Did you understand? You'll never get anything from me! "

Naruto is a stone mask. For a moment it seems like he can't react. And I understand that I have crossed the line.

I can tell by the smell that changes, it becomes more bitter and pungent. My Omega nature understands this and begins to tremble in front of the predatory one of the other. I understand it from the look, which nails me on the bed.

I act on instinct and try to escape, to jump out of bed. But Naruto grabs me. He throws me back on the mattress with violence and overhangs me. His body on top of mine. His hand tightened around my neck. He squeezes, it hurts, I can hardly breathe. Our faces are so close that I can't bring it into focus.

" _You are **mine**_ ," Naruto reiterates in a growl that has nothing human. Which comes from his innermost feral nature, from his bestiality.

I feel his hot, hard body pressed against mine and his smell so intensified that it clouds my mind and I hate myself for feeling weak muscles because I can't react, because I don't have the strength to shake it off and because my body respects his is weak and because my body wants it.

I hate myself because my body likes that heat. All my senses are awakening.

I grab the wrist that holds my throat and try to pull it away, to loosen its grip. I'm panicking and can't breathe.

Naruto's eyes are so full of greed that they have become black, cloudy, without reason.

"You're excited, Sasuke," he blows persuasively, hoarse. He collides our basins. He presses, rubs.

"No," I deny in a gasp.

I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself. I hate this body that I don't want, which is programmed to function in a way I don't want. I never wanted it, because I have to have it, because I have to react like that, because it can't be normal. But this is the normality of an Omega body, my body is healthy, functional, nothing is wrong with it. But it is the body of an Omega. I don't want Omega's body. I don't want to be an Omega. I don't want to react like that.

The panic mounts, it oppresses me more and more, feeling his hand slip on my body, on my side, touch my skin, the curve of my buttocks, try to reach ...

I choke.

"Are you getting wet, Sasuke?"

He rests his mouth on my neck, under the ear. Does he want to bite me?

I raise a hand against his face and push, push to move him away as far as possible, I try with my fingers the soft hollows of his eyes, I try to press, to hurt him, to weaken him, to blind him, to push him away ... stay away from me ...

Naruto growls, stops trying to reach my crevice between my buttocks and grabs my wrist. He pulls my hand away, squeezes so hard that I almost think he will break my bone. It hurts, I can't hold back the grimace of pain.

"Leave me ..." I article with difficulty.

"Leave you? Come on Sasuke, that's not what you really want ... "

His expression scares me. He is so involved, satisfied with this long-awaited contact, but at the same time eager to have more. He wants more and wants to get it.

I do not want to.

"Do you really want to resist me? Continue with this antics? " Naruto continues, breathing faster. He eats me with his eyes, he seems to want to devour everything. "How long do you think you can last? You want me. And when you get the heat you will beg me to fuck you to tears. Because this is your nature, this is ... "

He seems to me to fall apart. I'm so pathetically weak that I can't even fight. And his words kill me, they dig into my chest. It is as if my mind is gradually falling apart, as if I am close to fainting.

I never wanted this.

"You promised ..." I whisper. "You promised…"

Naruto freezes, stiffens. He even seems to stop breathing. This reaction gives me hope.

"You promised me ..." I repeat.

He bleaches, he detaches from me as if I burned. I breathe again, but his throat continues to burn where he has tightened. And my eyes are full of tears, my body sweaty. I am ashamed, I am ashamed of the visible and tense swelling in my groin.

Naruto leaves the room without saying anything, without even looking at me.

I am holed up under the covers, collected in myself. I can only think about how much I want to die. For the first time I miss the farm, I regret it. There the Betas couldn't hurt us, they couldn't rape us, they would have ruined the goods. Here I am surrounded by enemies. I'm afraid to go out. I am ashamed of being afraid.

“Little master…”

I recognize Iruka's voice. But I don't move, I stay in my hiding place. In my neast. We Omega usually build it during the heat, something I have always refused to do, which I have always resisted doing. Yet now I've felt the need and tried to create a place where I feel safe. But it did not work. Does not work. The smell of Naruto is everywhere.

"Little master," Iruka repeats more decisively.

Gently the covers are pulled apart and my head is uncovered.

I don't look at it. I'm ashamed.

“It's almost dinner time. I'll help you wash,” he informs me gently, a sweet tone. He speaks softly, as if he doesn't want to hurt my ears.

I don't want to move. But I can smell Naruto on my skin, where he rubbed himself. Washing me will make it go away. Maybe it'll make me feel less dirty.

I get up, my muscles tremble with fatigue. I feel so tired, with my head spinning at the slightest effort.

"I don't need help," I say.

I don't want him to see me naked. I don't want you to touch me. Nobody has to touch me, nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody.

There are no more remnants of lunch and broken plates on the floor. They must have cleaned while I was sleeping.

I take a few steps and I already feel my strength failing me. Iruka grabs me before my legs give out and he holds me up.

He smiles.

"Four days of fasting are not to be underestimated."

He walks me to the bathroom and helps me undress. I try not to look at my underpants, damp with moods, even if I smell disgusting. Iruka doesn't change his expression, he pretends nothing has happened. Then he holds me while I immerse myself in the tub, this time the water is hot and relaxes the muscles. It makes me sigh, it melts me.

Iruka takes my clothes and leaves the bathroom, giving me a few minutes of privacy. I remain immersed in hot water without doing anything, forcing myself not to think.

I'll probably see Naruto again for dinner. I will eat? Will he force me? I don't want to see him again. I wish time would stop at this moment. I wish I'd never been born ...

Iruka comes back in and rubs my back with the sponge, he helps me wash without being too inappropriate. Same when he dries me. But before I get dressed he makes me sit on a bench and check my neck, Naruto left me some purple bruises.

"Does it hurt to talk?"

A bit.

"No."

Iruka nods.

"There should not be any problem."

I look at him, then burst out: "I don't want to go to dinner, I don't want to see him again."

"Why not? You have to eat."

"I do not trust him. He was going to rape me. He drugged me. "

Iruka spreads some fresh cream on the bruises, makes me hiss.

"Why are you so convinced that he put an aphrodisiac in your food?" he asks me.

I don't understand why he has all this faith in Naruto, because despite what he just did he is on his side. It does not make sense.

"I know the symptoms, I've seen them on others," I reply neutral. "They fed it to the children at the Farm before the auctions, to make them ... more interesting."

I feel like throwing up thinking about it.

Iruka freezes and looks at me dumbfounded.

"I'm sorry."

I look at the polished floor, damp with steam.

"Naruto is not like the other Alphas," continues Iruka, spreading the cream.

"Naruto is just like the other Alphas," I correct.

He shakes his head, patient.

"Naruto tries to be like the other Alphas, but he can't be like them," he insists. "You don't know him well, there are things about him that you don't know yet and maybe it's for the best. But he's different from birth. If you opened up to him, you'd find that he can understand you more than anyone else."

Understand me. An Alpha cannot understand an Omega. They don't bear the same weight, they are different.

I turn away from him and look in the mirror. I have black eyes, a stained neck, the tired expression of an old man.

Naruto was going to rape me ... and he defends him.

Iruka keeps looking at me.

"I swear to you that today's dinner hasn't been tampered with, you won't find any drugs," he tells me. "Go to eat. Give Naruto a chance. "

I don't answer and he sighs.

"Why are you so stubborn to refuse it?"

I clench my hands into fists.

"Because I don't want it, I never wanted it. It's something he just imposed on me." I sadden my eyes, hunched my shoulders. "I'll give in, he's right. When the heat arrives, I will no longer be able to reason, to resist ..."

I think back to his words and I feel like crying. He was right as he told them.

This game was lost from the start. I've never played to win, defeat is the only possible final. And maybe part of me already knew. But it would have been different. Giving in, but knowing that Naruto was a good person. Giving in, but without Naruto pushing me to do so. Give in, knowing that I have a safe person to take care of me. It's different.

"So why don't you give in now?" Iruka asks me.

I shrug my shoulders.

"As long as I have the chance, I resist."

He sighs at my answer. He closes the jar with the cream.

"Naruto is not bad," he murmurs, "and if you help him he could improve."

I make a face. Help him? To improve in what? As a human being he has already failed.

I don't answer and Iruka doesn't add anything else. He makes me wear clean, elegant clothes, and walks me to the Dining Room. I am resigned, as if walking towards my death sentence.

Naruto is already inside, he doesn't look at me as I sit in my usual seat. I feel humiliated to have to do this.

On the table there are already all the portions, more abundant than usual. My stomach opens up to see them, but I don't move. Even though Iruka swore they weren't flavored, I don't want to. It is pride that requires me to keep the point.

Naruto takes a portion of fish, starts cutting the juicy white fillet. He brings a fork to his mouth and eats. He swallows, wait a few seconds. He pushes the plate towards me.

"You can eat it," he says harshly, sarcastically. "It is not poisoned."

I look at the fish dish. The pulp looks so soft, so good ...

I swallow. Naruto just ate it to prove to me that there is nothing, no drugs. It's funny the way he looks at me. He is mocking, sarcastic, a little annoyed.

I can't resist, my stomach almost hurts. Without looking at him, I grab my fork and bring it to my mouth. It tastes so good… I struggle to keep from not eating the rest with enthusiasm.

Naruto makes a face, takes another plate and repeats the same scene. He tastes it and then passes it to me. He does the same with water too. He continues until I'm full and can't eat anything else. My stomach, after being empty for so long, almost hurts.

Naruto smiles in satisfaction as the servants clear away. We didn't exchange a single word for the duration of the dinner.

"It wasn't difficult, was it?"

I don't answer, I don't look at him. And he gets up. Elegant, fluid, he seems to have regained his composure. And he goes towards me. He touches my neck with his fingers.

"Did I hurt you?"

I'm on alert. I don't like the way he looks at me, he looks like a shark.

He crouches, approaches his face and brushes my throat with his nose. I am rigid, my heart bursts in my chest. I feel he sniff my skin, move and search until it reaches the rest of my neck, where the scent gland.

I feel the shape of his smile against my earlobe.

"I like the smell of your fear," he murmurs. "But don't make me angry anymore."

I am so stuck that I can't breathe. But Naruto gets up and smiles at me, provocative, and leaves the room.

I notice that I have reached out to hold the knife. My grip is shaking. I feel like throwing up everything I just ate.

The game continues. Naruto just changed his strategy.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW:Strong chapter, where there is verbal and psychological violence. Reference is made to continuous rape and brainwashing of others (not the protagonists)  
> Naruto is a piece of shit.

A war of attrition begins, aimed at undermining my resistance day after day. Naruto seems to have become another person. He exudes the same aura of confidence and composure, as if everything is proceeding just as he wants. But he stopped being kind and loving towards me. His smiles are full of double meanings. Words are double-edged. Every calm gesture implies a threat. His presence puts me in tension, now more than before it is unpredictable.

He invades my spaces, touches me and caresses me. He never exceeds a certain limit - perhaps his pride prevents him from breaking his promise - but every time I try to move away he smiles at me dangerously. As if he was threatening me.

The compromises I have made for peaceful coexistence are now ignored. When we are in bed he looks for me, touches me, holds me tight. Enter the bathroom while I wash, look ostentatiously at my naked body. He comments. He provokes me.

I would like to react. But I can't. When a servant comes to tell me that lunch or dinner is ready, I think I don't introduce myself. But I don't, I always go. Because I'm scared. I'm afraid of making him angry. Block me on the wall. Not being able to stop it. Let us repeat what happened the last time I raised my head.

I do not want to be condescending, but do not even want to provoke him.

So I go to meals, where I eat almost without daring to breathe. My fear amuses Naruto, it is evident. He must feel like the cat with the mouse. I am at his mercy without any possibility of defense.

It's so humiliating that I can't even get angry.

What discourages me most is that I cannot ignore his words, gestures, provocations. Slowly, day after day, they are breaking through my defense. I feel cornered more and more, more and more unable to resist. Each time I am always so close to giving up that I don't know what is still holding me back. I thank the bit of pride that I have left.

I only have one safe space, and that's the Venus room. Or at least I believe it. Whenever I'm in there Naruto doesn't enter. He is not there with his shark smiles, eager looks, veiled threats. There is me and my book.

Now I take refuge here every time I have the opportunity, hoping that at least this last compromise will be respected. I am deluded to believe it. I realize this when he comes smugly into the little room, with elegant clothes that highlight his statuesque figure, beautiful in him. The aggressive smell immediately invades the air, canceling any attempt to impress my smell - my possession - in the room.

Sitting on the round loveseat between the cushions, I ignore him. My head bent over the book. But I have lost the thread of the narrative, I can no longer follow the words. Even if I do not see him, I feel Naruto.

He moves boldly. A prince in his own castle. With his hand he touches the pastel walls, the essential and neoclassical furniture. He has such an innocent face that it looks like one of the cupids painted in the fresco on the ceiling.

He is actually the Devil.

I find it harder and harder to ignore his presence, especially when he sits on the sofa. He stares at me. His gaze is more tangible than his hands. It's like he's stripping me of everything.

"So, Sasuke, you used to masturbate."

I gasp to hear him speak. My grip on the book trembles and I make the mistake of looking at it. Naruto has a mocking expression and stares at me with ostentatious curiosity.

I am already in trouble and do not answer.

"You used to masturbate, didn't you?" Naruto adds up. "Otherwise you wouldn't have cared about the order. Did you masturbate? "

I don't understand where this is headed and continuous waves of heat in the stomach make me even more confused. I hate the smell of him. I hate him because he drives me crazy.

I nod.

Naruto looks happy, even more curious.

"And how did you do it?" he continues leaning forward.

"How men do it," I snort.

Naruto laughs and tilts his head.

"Did you only touch yourself in front?" does not give up, the sensual and faint voice. "Or did you touch here too?"

I stiffen when I feel her fingers brush the back of my thigh, try to reach my butt. I hit him automatically in the center of the chest with my foot to push him away. Naruto feels the blow, but he grabs my calf. He keeps it still, blocked.

"You also touched the back," he answers himself, his eyes sparkle.

Only during the heat, I would like to protest. But I don't want to give him even an iota of satisfaction. I remain silent looking at him with hatred as he strokes my calf. The fingertips draw squiggles on the exposed skin.

"Come on, tell me," he begs me. "You liked it? Did you touch yourself often? What were you thinking about?"

He is not discouraged by my stubborn silence. His caresses on his leg made me blush, but I don't look away. I would like to escape. But I feel imprisoned.

"Come on, what were you thinking?" he continues. “I bet you imagined a big fat Alpha cock taking you, right? You were pretending your fingers were that dick, right?"

"No," I growl.

He smiles, pleased with my reaction.

"You don't have to lie to me, Sasuke," he reminds me. "Do you want to know what I think when I masturbate?"

"I wish you would go."

"I think of you, naked on our bed," he ignores me. With his hand he goes down to grip my ankle, then he slowly begins to rub up and down, in an unequivocal gesture. "I imagine you spreading your legs, showing me that little place that you keep so hidden from me ... and you're wet as hell, like now, aren't you?" he raises his eyebrows as if he wants to exchange a gesture of understanding with me.

I try to stay neutral. Not to show any expression. I placed the open book on my crotch to hide the swelling. But I'm afraid he already knows from my smell that his words are having an effect.

I can't get the scene he is describing out of my head.

“Then I'll turn you around” he continues without stopping smiling, “and I'll put you with your ass lifted. Your beautiful ass. I slap him. And you moan cheekily, like the little slut you are…” He pauses, he looks at me, studies my reaction. “You beg me to put it in you, you beg me to fuck you… and I do it, all the way. And when I come, I come inside you. You know?" He spreads his grin. “My cock is big and long. Surely it can go where your fingers cannot, fill you properly."

I am trembling imperceptibly. I close my eyes, unable to drive away that image, to stop thinking about it. Why does my mind have to betray me too?

Naruto takes advantage of this distraction. He grabs my mouth with his hand, squeezes my cheeks and pokes my lips. He forces me to keep it open. I try to run away, but his grip is so strict that it hurts.

"I can't actually stop thinking about this poisonous little mouth of yours," he sighs into his face. "Who knows if you're as good at sucking and licking as you are at saying nasty things."

I glare at him.

“You are always so cruel to me. _Naruto goes away, leave me alone, I don't want you, I hate you, I'm not yours…_ ” he lists with a disappointed look. “How I would like to shut you up by putting it in your mouth, coming into your throat. I'd make you swallow it all, take it all. What a wonderful vision, to see you suffocate with my cock ... "

He sticks his forefinger into my mouth. I try to bite him, but he keeps my jaw locked. So he presses on my tongue, plunges into my saliva, brushes the inside of my cheeks, the inside of my lower lip. This simple gesture seems to give him a lot of pleasure. He looks at me with eyes drowned in lust.

"You're so hot ..." he murmurs lost. "How much I would like ..."

I punch him in the face.

I act on instinct, moved by fear. My knuckles crash into his cheekbone with so much violence that I hurt myself. But it works. Naruto releases his grip on me and backs off with his torso. I free myself, get up from the sofa and put as much distance between us as possible.

I realize what I've done and fear paralyzes me.

I hit him.

I've crossed the line. Now he will get angry, like last time. Now he will really do something to me, he will explode. He will throw me to the floor, he will rape me and I will not be able to stop him, not ...

But Naruto laughs. He laughs heartily, bad. He puts his hand to his peeled cheekbone, he's bleeding. Do I have that much strength?

He looks at me, the blue of his eyes is cold, sarcastic. He is looking at my groin, my visible excitement. I breathe with difficulty.

"Accept it." He spits on the ground. "Accept it and give up, that's how your body works."

I shake my head, everything is spinning, I miss the air.

I run out of the room and close the door behind me but I can't manage to trudge another step. I slide to the ground, my back to the wall. I squeeze my legs, the erection that hurts me. I put my hand on top and I would like to cry, because I can't do anything else, because I just have to endure.

Naruto's words bounce in my head, dig into my mind. They stuck to me. I would like to tear them away, erase them, but the more I try to erase them the more they impress me and the more they become visible. And I guess what he described. I guess I have it inside. I guess I get down on my knees to suck his cock. I guess I'm coming - finally.

 _Now he goes out and takes me,_ I think. And I would like to be terrified, but instead I'm almost hopeful.

_Accept it and surrender, this is how your body works._

I grit my teeth and force myself to get up. No, I don't accept it, I will never accept it. I am not like that.

I do not know where to go. With tears in my eyes, I leave the villa, headed for the only place that can still welcome me. The beach is empty, the sea calm as always. The sea is always willing to let me take my space in it.

I dive for comfort, relief. But now even freezing water isn't enough to chase away the ever-present excitement.

Nothing is enough now.

This psychological warfare is mentally exhausting me. I can hardly concentrate on anything. I cannot read. Words lose their meaning, my mind fades. I think of Naruto. Everything he tells me. I think back to that kiss, the only one.

And I feel like I'm dying.

It is no longer just a fight against Naruto. It is also against myself. Against this instinct that I can't manage. It's a race against time, every day of August that passes reminds me that September is coming. Heat will also come with September. At that point I will no longer be able to resist. At that point I will turn into the worst version of myself.

I try to keep myself busy. But it's all in vain. Wherever I go, he always finds me. His confident attitude makes me nauseous. He knows that I will soon give up, that I will become his perfect pet Omega, to be fucked if necessary.

Will I really become that?

Naruto said he wants a bond. But he didn't specify anything else. I know what a bond is, but I don't know how it works. Will my will be annihilated? Will I find myself accepting every request from the Alpha without opposing?

Naruto just said that a bond makes everything more amplified. At the Farm they limited themselves to basic explanations.

I realize I don't know enough. That's why I start looking for information in the library. With discretion. I don't want Naruto to understand that I'm already resigned. I'm not even asking Iruka to help me. He is not my ally, it is evident that he cares so much for Naruto that he justifies its actions. I can't trust him.

I seek and discover. I discover that it is very rare, that very few Alpha and Omega bind. Perhaps it is also the fault of the structure of society, which prevents too deep contacts between the two genders. In fact, all the reported cases speak of noble Alphas who bought Omega children on the Farms. They also tell of situations of a violent severing of the bond, perhaps caused by the death of one of the two. Pain, madness, suicide. These are the words that accompany it. The survivor of the bond will always carry a scar that will never heal, which will cause him to suffer forever to the point of insanity. It is rarely broken when both people are still alive, but that doesn't make the pain any less excruciating. It's like a rotting, infected open wound. Something that cannot heal. This is why most try to commit suicide.

A bond that, if broken, gradually leads first to madness, then to death.

But despite this, some books idealize it. Those who have enough courage to do so will receive an unparalleled understanding from their partner, an experience so lively and strong that it also changes the world around them. They speak of the power of love, they bring evidence based on chemistry of how the influence of the bond makes people more serene and satisfied, of how it can heal mental and physical illnesses. They speak of a sublime form of love.

Looks like a chain to me. And I focus more on critical books about it. They expose the risks of the bond. The risk of closing in on this bond, so satisfying as to ignore the rest and one's social duty. The risk of bonding with a person who does not reciprocate with the same force, the risk of manipulation and control. Talk about how risky it is to bond with an Omega during its heat. Never trust the promise of love from an Omega in heat, says an old proverb. An Omega during the heat is willing to do anything with anyone. Heat madness can involve an Alpha, make them make the mistake of taking out a bond. An insincere bond.

With a bond, sexual intercourse is easier and more intense.

With a bond there is more emotional harmony.

With a bond you can perceive and share your partner's mood.

With a bond you lose the sense of loneliness.

With a bond in case of betrayal you feel physical pain.

I stop reading when Naruto enters the library. He doesn't approach right away. He wanders around the shelves bored, skims over books, reads titles. I keep it in check and hide my research at the same time by taking a novel.

Eventually he joins me and sits on my own loveseat. He leans back relaxed, arms outstretched and legs crossed. He looks at me peacefully.

"You really always read," he tells me.

I ignore it and pretend to read the novel. But he slips it out of my hands without any warning.

"What are you reading?"

"A fantasy," I mutter. Maybe he'll go away if I give him some satisfaction.

Naruto looks at the author.

"Ah, I love it!" he recognizes it. “Jiraiya Sannin is one of the best writers around. Do you like it?"

"No," I say, even though I'm not reading it. But I do not want to make him believe that we have the same tastes.

"Read it more carefully," he advises me. He doesn't give it back to me and looks at me suggestively. "Did you always read at the Farm too?"

I frown, surprised that he called the Education Center by his vulgar name of him.

"When I could."

"Ah. But… tell me…” He stretches his suggestive smile. "Did you play on the farm?"

I look at him even more confused.

"Every now and then," I reply.

"What games?"

I shrug.

"Well, there were the buildings, the cards, the toy soldiers and the puzzles. There were also dolls and soft toys, but I didn't like them. And when we were in the garden we used to play hide and seek or flag. Or…"

I stop abruptly. There is something wrong with Naruto: he's stiff, his eyes wide open and ... is he crying?

It's so unexpected that for a moment I can't understand what the tears on his cheeks are. He looks at me and cries, with an expression so incredulous and empty that it confuses me. I don't understand: what did I say that made him react like that? Yet it was he who asked me this question. It does not make sense.

Naruto stands up, the book clutched to his chest. With a sleeve he wipes one eye.

He looks like… a child.

He leaves the library without saying anything. Without looking at me, without stopping to cry in silence.

Without my understanding what happened.

In the evening Iruka informs me that I will not have dinner with Naruto.

"The master is not feeling well," he explains to me only when I ask for an explanation.

I cannot hide that I am happy, but also troubled and confused. Is that what happened in the afternoon?

"Why isn't he feeling well?" I insist.

"He's tired," he cuts short.

It is strange to eat alone in that large room. On that long table set just for one. Naruto has eaten this way for years, with the disturbing presence of waiters leaning against the wall. With the clink of cutlery as just noise.

I block myself. Do I feel sorry for him? Despite everything he did to me, do I feel sorry for him? It must be because I saw him cry. He upset me to see him so vulnerable, fragile as a child. It was a perspective Naruto hadn't shown me yet. And I wonder if that is also false, like when he pretended to be understanding and calm. If it's just another attempt at manipulation.

But it was so sudden. His expression suddenly changed. It could not be planned, I would have had the inkling.

I found his weak point. Although I didn't understand which one.

Victory is short. The next day Naruto returns to the attack.

We didn't sleep together, it must have been somewhere else. After a long time, I finally had a quiet night. And the morning goes on without him showing up.

But my good mood disappears as soon as I see him at lunch. I had hoped to be able to save myself here too, but luck can't last too long.

There is no trace of tears or weakness on his face. It's the same as the other days, the same predator. He continues to eat me with his eyes as if I were the dessert of that meal, the only noteworthy portion.

Having lunch is exhausting with such sex-starved eyes aimed at me. Each bite seems to get stuck in the throat and the appetite totally passes when he speaks.

"So what were you doing at the Farm?" he asks me.

I look carefully at my plate, I try to understand what the threat is.

"They educated us."

"At what?"

"To our culture. They taught us language, mathematics and basic notions of biology and history. And good manners, how to behave in a community."

"And then?"

I don't understand what you want me to say.

“They explained to us what it means to be Omega and our role in society. We exercised twice a week and… ”I struggle to remember, but that's all. So I stop.

Naruto waits silently, looks at me and waits for me to say more. As long as he understands that I'm done.

"Do you know what Nurseries are?"

I frown. I guess he doesn't mean greenhouses where they grow flowers, so I shake my head.

"They are like Farms, but for adults. For Omega who are over thirteen."

I would like to say that at thirteen an Omega is not an adult. I don't feel like that at all. But then I think about the speed with which we die. And I realize that he is proportionately right. Omegas become adults after the first heat, usually between the ages of twelve and thirteen.

"You may not know, but the Omega Farms are children born to non-Omega families."

No, I didn't know. So I look up in surprise.

"What do you mean?"

He makes an impatient grimace.

“If an Omega is born from Betas or Alphas, it is taken to a Farm. If, on the other hand, an Omega is born in the Ghetto, he stays with his Omega family in the Ghetto."

So my parents weren't Omega, I realize. I never wondered who my mother or father was, I always assumed they were any Omega. Instead they could be Betas, or even Alphas.

But Naruto doesn't seem interested in this point and continues.

"Imagine, however, what an injustice: in the Ghettos there can be wonderful Omegas and an Alpha could never find them. Flowers would remain hidden in the manure, instead of being cared for in the gardens."

I begin to understand where this is headed and I get goosebumps.

"So every year a census is organized of all the Omega that have had the first heat. The most beautiful Omega, the flowers ... are taken and brought to the Nurseries, to make them bloom at their best."

I don't know what is worse: not knowing your family, being like an orphan; or to know it, to be torn from it and to know its love.

This system sucks. But Naruto talks about it as if it were a reasonable thing.

Obvious: he is an Alpha. For him it is reasonable.

Our entire system is thought to be the welfare of the Alphas.

“I thought Nurseries and Farms worked the same way,” he continues, “but apparently they don't. Perhaps because you are still children at the Farm and your true education is being sent back to the Alphas who buy you."

The blue eyes look at me magnetic, so fixed I can't move.

"Sasuke," he calls me languid, "do you know what the main task of an Omega is?"

My tongue is stuck to the palate, I struggle to answer.

"Serve an Alpha."

"Sexually serve an Alpha," he corrects, then smiles. “That's what they teach you in the Nurseries. Do you want to know how? "

I shake my head. I have goosebumps. But Naruto doesn't care, he continues.

“I've been there, I know very well. They train an Omega's body to welcome an Alpha, initiate them into sexual pleasure. They teach them to only desire the sexual satisfaction of their Alpha. And they do it in so many ways, but it essentially breaks down into two parts. Do you want to know which ones? "

"No."

He smiles.

"Obviously there is the technical part. They train them how to move, what to do, to lick penises and vaginas. How to be sensual. But above all to endure. They make them stay naked in crowded rooms full of mirrors."

I have the instinct to plug my ears with my hands.

"The most interesting part is another," he continues. "Alphas like it when the Omega enjoys it. This is why they teach them to find many things pleasant. " Her eyes sparkle, his smile slightly enhanced. "They get them used to getting aroused by the most common desires of an Alpha, they get them used to wanting to be constantly fucked. They apply all kinds of stimulators to any sensitive part of the body. They make them sensitive to even the slightest touch. They sit motionless for twelve hours at sex machines that never stop, they make them cum several times a day. That's why they also use many aphrodisiacs. " He laughs softly and winks at me, as if he were saying something about which we are complicit. "And while they are there they watch ... stimulative films."

I feel bad. I think of these poor Omega - Omega like me - snatched from their families to endure real sexual torture and brainwashing. Their only fault is being considered beautiful.

"But you know, the most interesting thing about Nurseries is another," Naruto resumes, his voice an octave higher. Of an out-of-place cheerfulness, which makes his story even more gruesome. “They produce a delicacy that many Alphas love. Do you know what is it?" He looks at me. "Omega milk."

I don't know why, but I immediately guess what he means. And because of that, I feel like I've been punched in the pit of my stomach.

"They take the Omega women and milk them, as they do the cows," he chuckles amused. “While they're stuck in the sex machine, of course. Instead the males milk the penis, collect the sperm. They keep making them cum until they fill liters. And then they sell the milk and semen to the Alphas. You know ... it's good to go crazy. "

I'm really on the verge of throwing up. I feel terrible, so bad I can't feel my legs. To struggle to breathe. Such a thing cannot be human. It is absurd, horrible. Not even a horror story could describe something like this. Instead it is a reality. My reality.

Naruto studies me, his eyes are cold again. And I finally understand why he is telling me about it.

"Maybe I should send you to a nursery," he considers. He intertwines his fingers under my chin and cuts me with his eyes. “So maybe you start being reasonable. A week would be enough and you would no longer have all these tantrums. "

My eyes widen. He can't be serious. But he seems to really ponder this proposal. I'm starting to shake, he can't blackmail me like this. He cannot. He cannot.

“They sure would know how to treat you. After all, you were seven years without someone to instruct you properly, you have to fix it. You know nothing about how to serve me. I was remiss not to think about it. I imagine how it would change you someday in just one of those sex machines of theirs, with a metal penis planted in your ass. Forced to always remain naked. I picture you milking you like a cow. I imagine drinking your ... "

"NARUTO!"

Naruto gasps and freezes. Iruka broke away from the wall, it was he who interrupted him.

"Naruto, that's enough," he repeats adamantly and looks at me.

I feel alienated. I know I have tears in my eyes, I am shaking so hard I move the chair. But at the same time I am estranged from my body.

I can't stop thinking about those Omega. To those tortures. I imagine myself among those Omega. I imagine putting up with a life like that. I would like to stop thinking about it. I cannot make it. I feel like crying. I feel like throwing up. I can not breathe.

I want to disappear.

Naruto looks at me. He just looks at me. He doesn't speak anymore. Then with an angry gesture he pushes his plate away. He gets up in anger and leaves the Dining Room. He bangs the force like thunder. Only the echo of his terrible words remains in the room.

And I can breathe again. But I'm not moving. I don't move until Iruka approaches me.

"Come, young master."

I watch. My eyes are bright, I know. I feel bad.

"He can't do that," I murmur in panic. "He can't do that."

He looks at me sad.

"Everything will be fine."

I feel bad. I feel like I'm dying. That's why I don't protest and let myself be led out of the room. I left half of the food intact on my plate. I do not care. I have a tight stomach. Nausea so strong that I can't speak.

I let him take me to the bedroom without reacting. With relief, I find that it is empty.

"Rest," Iruka advises me. "Everything will be fine," he repeats to me.

The more he says it, the more I am sure that he is wrong. In hell, things can't go well, they can only get worse.

I lie on the bed and stay there, helpless. My nightmares retrace Naruto's words.

The bedroom door is open. Whispered voices pull me out of sleep, from nightmares clinging to me with their claws. My muscles are stiff, cold, they hurt.

How long have I slept? I am dazed.

Yet the smell of aggressive Alpha immediately puts me to attention, makes me follow the whispered speech in the corridor.

They are Naruto and Iruka.

"You have to reassure him," the butler says.

"Why on earth? I don't have infinite patience ... "

"But you're not going to do it, are you?"

Silence. That hesitation makes my heart beat mad.

"Naruto?"

A dejected sigh.

"No. If I went into a nursery I'd go crazy, I wouldn't be able to," he admits in the end.

I feel Iruka breathing in relief. Naruto's smell has become less aggressive.

“You misbehaved. Like…"

" _Him_?" complete sarcastic Naruto.

"You have to apologize to Sasuke."

"No."

"Naruto, you are not like that."

And I feel the anger again, the irrepressible wave that is always unleashed suddenly, overwhelming with a tsunami.

"But yes!" growls. “And I'm not going to apologize for it, _they_ never apologized. Why should I do it? "

Iruka does not respond. On the other hand, I hear the door being closed and Naruto entering the room. I lie still in bed, I try to keep my breathing regular, my eyes closed. I don't want to let him know that I'm awake, that I've heard. But my heart is beating madly, hard, I'm afraid it may betray me.

I feel a landslide in the mattress. Naruto sat on the bed. I feel his breath, the encumbrance of his body and the smell of him. He strokes my back. It's hard to keep calm, not flinch at that contact.

"Sasuke ..." he whispers, hesitates.

I remain motionless in my fake sleep.

Naruto doesn't finish, but I feel him choking on sobs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm undecided whether to add Dark! Naruto between the tags. In this first part Naruto will be like this, bad and cruel towards Sasuke, he will even get to do worse. But actually for what the story showed Naruto is not bad, he is broken and he will almost immediately regret what he did, trying in every way to fix it. As someone in the reviews pointed out, Naruto appears to be suffering from some psychological disorder. He does it. The original authors have always been keen to specify that this does not justify, and above all does not cancel, his actions and the fact that he hurt Sasuke. But I just want to tell you that it's all very complex. Naruto himself is a very complex character who has not yet been fully deciphered.  
> Furthermore, the story speaks of delicate and dark themes of our own world, without ever making discounts.  
> However, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I thank those who commented!


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